Namine is a dreamer,
And a writer of her dreams
Music and harmony
Inhabit her soul.
Nobody is what they call her,
Everything is what she is to me.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,471 Literary Works • 672,573 Reviews
Thank you ^^ I really appreciate all of your reviews xD
Aw; I really like this poem, short and sweet. It definitely puts a smile on my face. She must have loved it xD Very inspiring. Two lines that I think need fixed:
I don't understand this
and
I do understand this, but I think it's sort of awkward. It's a very sweet line though, and phrased properly it could be amazing:
maybe have:
She is everything to me
or
To me she is everything
Overall:
This was really good. Short and sweet. It flowed really well too. My favourite part:
I really like this line. It's beautiful.
Well done, your poems rock
xD
xoxo
Ah! Short and sweet! I like!
This poem definitely makes someone smile. It gives hope and inspires.
I like doing the name things where you have to find an adjective that fits you and starts with the letters of your name. I never thought of doing a poem out of your name! Brilliant! This is so cool.
Awesome!
Beautiful line!
I love all your poems! Can't wait to read more!
Becca
It's a short poem, so there isn't too much to comment on, but it really is a sweet poem. It brings a smile to my face, so I'm sure it'll bring a smile to your friend's face.
I love how everything just fits together, almost like you have three stanzas in one. You have a small bit of repetition with 'dream' in the first two lines, but I really think it works, as the rest of them all seem to have a bit of repetition. It's like your stating something and then adding to it, and it does work with this poem.
I think you're missing a bit of punctuation at the end of this line. Probably something like just a period to let this come to a full stop before you go on to the next one. Or, you could add in a semicolon, to connect the first two lines to the middle two lines. But, it needs some sort of punctuation.
I really think that part is beautiful and that this is the heart of the whole thing. I love how everything just flows within this poem and even without the Name part of it, it's still a poem.
I feel a bit sad for your friend, if everyone calls her 'nobody,' but I do see how your next line makes up for this. It's like I said in the beginning, stating something and then adding to it. People call her 'nobody,' but you call her 'everything.' I do have to say that you might want to still be careful about this line, because it is a rather powerful line--and not really in a good way. Of course, you know your friend.
Overall: I think it's a wonderful, sweet poem. I really like the way you see your friend and how your emotion can be seen within this poem. It really is powerful, especially within the end. I'm sure your friend will love it.
Good luck!
- Tatra
Hi there!
Too short... it's like one of those little poems you do, to put a smile on your friends face, not really to publish or to ask for major reviews. Am I right?
I'm Kat, and I'm gonna review this since everyone else were rude enough to not say anything.
I think this is cute!
This line is a bit confusing. I can't suggest a different one, because I don't know your friend so I can't really describe her (obviously).
Anyway, this is cute, but well... that's all that it is...
Keep writing!