I really loved it , excellent imagery and personification it really gives me a sense of peace and calm. It also has excellent flow and I just love to say it I read it aloud two or three times, well done!
Listen to the whispers
that dance across your face;
feel them breeze past you
as they continue on their race.
Invisible yet powerful,
weightless but still strong;
Listen to the melody,
the wind's faithful song.
I really loved it , excellent imagery and personification it really gives me a sense of peace and calm. It also has excellent flow and I just love to say it I read it aloud two or three times, well done!
I loved it but something about it screamed 'sorrow!' to me. I don't know if that was your intention but it was rather sad to me. I loved it. Keep up the good work.
Oh, I'm Rena by the way. I'm new. You're the first person I've critiqued and I'm not really sure how to do this but your poem was good. Nothing bad ot say about it at all.
i absolutely love it. i think it flows great. i would love to read more of your stuff. its fantastic. i have one thing to say: i think it could be better if you wrote a couple more verses.
AWw. This was so sweet. I loved it.
Listen to the whispers
that dance across your face;
watch them breeze past you
as they continue on their race.
Invisible yet powerful,
weightless but still strong;
Listen to the melody,
the wind's faithful song.
Listen to the whispers
that dance across your face.
watch them breeze past you
as they continue on their race.
Invisible yet powerful,
weightless but still strong;
Listen to the melody,
the wind's faithful song.
Listen to the whispers
that dance across your face.
feel them breeze past you
as they continue on their race.
Invisible yet powerful,
weightless but still strong.
Listen to the melody,
the wind's sensuous song.
Wow, I loved it! Especially the first two lines. The picture of wind "dancing across your face was a beautiful picture! But I didn't get the "I am the melody" part. Maybe you could accentuate on that a little? Either way, it was really good and gave a good image. Oh, good rythym, too. Good job!!!
Vet
This was short, and sweet. The length of this poem was a small issue though. This could be expanded a little bit, but it would feel like it would drag on a bit. So, I'm kind of stuck on the matter. But oh well, on to the poem's contents.
Listen to the whispers
that dance across your face;
watch them breeze past you
as they continue on their race.
Invisible yet powerful,
weightless but still strong;
I am the melody,
the wind's faithful song.
120,615 Literary Works • 651,088 Reviews
Points: 890
Reviews: 14
Donate