OK... so this is a simple one... I purposefully used "how" repeatedly, hoping I could transmit the despair. Anyway here it goes! Comments are welcome (even the harsh ones) to help me improve!
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How?
How can I tell you
if you don't wanna listen?
What can I do
If you don't care?
How can I ever dare
If we are not ment to be?
How could you ever love me?
How can I live happily
If all I want is to cry?
How can I spend hours
Asking God why?
How can I put a smile on my face
If inside I'm dying?
How can I laugh
If inside I'm fading?
How can I pretend
When all i want is to the pain to end?
How can I make face to my fears
When my heart is full of tears?
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Its nice feels like first love loss type of thing. I like it great job on making the words flow they had a nice ring.
I liked this, simple, not flogged down with too many words (I hate it when people do that). I really liked how there was no real rule to the rhyme scheme, it made it feel more natural. The one thing I noticed: You spelled 'meant' wrong in the 1st stanza.
Good job!