Young Writers Society

Hi
I must say....great job done on keeping it short and effective.

The imagery was really alive and the power of fire was shown like never before.I liked the magnificence of fire you have shown in this poem and how it's sight can be so inspiring.


It's the flame, it's the spark,

It overpowers the Dark,

It is something to admire,

It is the Fire.

Great lines.

Good luck.

Hello

Everyone else has pretty much covered everything I was going to say, but to be honest that was really good. It flowed really well and I really enjoyed reading it. It is an interesting subject and I found it really good.

The only nit picky thing I can think of which is really odd is that maybe there could be a more imaginitive title name, to go with the most imaginitive piece

but well written

Nitpicking

I stared at the red flames dancing
on a silent beautiful melody.
It's warm battling the freezing night,
It lives, it shines a radiant light.

Something uncontrollable has born;

It rises from bellow Hell, glorious;

It fights the Gods; it gets out, victorious.

Thanks for all the reviews! And yes, ti was for a contest. I did not win... but that's ok!
Many thanks, guys!

Hey! It's Peanut, here to review you as my 49th review! [spoiler] I'm trying to make it to 50 reviews before the end of today [/spoiler]

It's the flame, it's the spark,
It overpowers the Dark,
It is something to admire,
It is the Fire.

I stared at the red flames dancing
on a silent beautiful melody.

It's warmth battling the freezing night,
It lives; it shines a radiant light.

Something uncontrollable has been born;
Strong and powerful; amazing.
It rises from below Hell, glorious;
It fights the Gods; it gets out, victorious.

It's the flame, it's the spark,
It overpowers the Dark,

It is something to admire,
It is the Fire.

Hiya *writewatiwant*!

Since I am now finishing the judging for Elements of Nature, it's time to pull up all my entries to critique them! ^_^

I was judging on three items. How you portrayed the element, originality and structure.

Element: A classic choice. Fire is one of the elements know to us all. I wasn't too thrilled with the comparison to Hellfire though. The whole point of the contest was to show the beauty of an element, even if it was the beauty of it's sheer, raw power.

Originality: Half and half. You've got some original things here, but at the same time they are pretty base things about fire. Reach deeper in the future, okay?

Structure: Here, I enjoyed your style. The last stanza in particular was nice. ^_^ I found the first two lines could have linked together a bit better with flow, but most of the poem had a simple feel that I liked.

Simplicity is your thing when it comes to poetry. This was very enjoyable. ^_^

~Rosey

*writewatiwant* wrote:I stared at the red flames dancing
on a silent beautiful melody.
It's warm battled the freezing night,
It lives, it shines a radiant light.

Something uncontrollable has born;
Strong and powerful; amazing.
It rises from bellow Hell, glorious;
It fights the gods; it gets out, victorious.

It's the flame, it's the spark,
It overpowers the Dark,
It is something to admire,
It is the Fire.

Firstly, I like the idea. It's very, well, vivid. The pyromaniac within me swoons.

That said, I wish to ask a question.

Hmm...

The last stanza is a lot different from the first two, in both rhyme scheme in meter. Is that on purpose, or did it just happen?

*writewatiwant* wrote:So, this is for Rosey's Contest: topic42895.html


I stared at the red flames dancing
on a silent beautiful melody, period could use better here
It's warm battled the freezing night,
It lives, it shines an radiant light! Also period

Something uncontrollable has born;
Strong and powerful; amazing. The punctuation is wonderful here.
It rises from bellow Hell, glorious;
It fights the gods; it gets out, victorious. Superb!

It's the flame, the spark, Try : "It's the flame, it's the spark,"
It overpowers the Dark,
It is something to admire,
It is the Fire.