Said the pancake to the crepe,
"What a little creep you are!"
Replied the crepe with a smile,
"That may be so, but at least I don't have
A spectacular paunch like you!"
~
The pancake puffed up
His fluffy, well-beaten chest and said,
"Fat I may be, but with your stick-like body,
the notion of your filling
even a tiny stomach is unlikely."
~
The crepe was about to retort
When a little girl did dart
Into the kitchen. She looked at them
And frowned and went
To open the refrigerator door.
~
She took out a waffle,
Frozen and cold,
And drowned it in syrup and took a bite
With a fork and exclaimed,
"Ah, what a wonderful treat!"
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,890 Literary Works • 673,702 Reviews
Bro, this is awesome! Really good job!
Thank you!
"A waffle is just a pancake with abs."
-@Silvernight
Lol! Exactly! I always say that to a friend of mine, when we argue about whether pancakes or waffles are better. (I support waffles all way)
Love This!!!
Thank you!
Aaaaah! I love this!
Thank you!
Glad you liked it!
Hey, how are you doing? You should be doing well because this is the BEST! It was so funny and cute, I just love it! I love the conversation between the pancake and the crepe! It cracked me up whenever they insulted each other because I just imagined food on the table throwing insults and shade haha.
I think I have two favorite lines. One is when the pancake says to the crepe, "What a little creep you are!" I think that is HILARIOUS because of the similarity between creep and crepe. I also love the line when the pancake says, "Fat I may be, but with your stick-like body, the notion of your filling even a tiny stomach is unlikely." Heck yeah, you just got DESTROYED crepe! (Not that I have anything against crepes, hashtag Crepes Are People Too haha).
Besides my two favorite lines, I would have to say my favorite part is at the very end. The little girl comes into the kitchen and we expect to see her pick between the crepe and the pancake, showing us who's really the better food and who will win! But then--PLOT TWIST!--she goes over to the fridge and gets a WAFFLE!! I can just imagine the crepe and the pancake looking so offended haha.
All in all, this is amazing and super well written for something so funny and lighthearted! Please keep writing things like this, I would love to read more! Keep up the phenomenal work!
Thank you!
Hello Niveda! hannah here for a review, as requested. Hope it is helpful!
Grows:
"When a little girl did dart
Into the kitchen."
You don't need to capitalize the beginning of every stanza.
"Ah what a wonderful treat!"
I suggest after "Ah" you put a comma.
Glows:
This was so funny! I love how they were arguing over who was better and then someone came in and took something that wasn't either the crepe or the pancake. It made me laugh!
I hope this was helpful! Keep writing and have an amazing day!
I hope to hear more from you! Great job, you are an amazing author.
Sincerely,
@hannah0528
I'll change those mistakes immediately.
Thanks for reviewing!