Things Fall Apart: Chapter 12: Unfinished Sentences

Juno

Finally, after an excruciating lunch and two more classes, school is blessedly over. Emma helps me pack my bag with my history and British Lit books. Goodness gracious, who really gives homework on the first day of school? But before I have time to ponder the imminent demise of my perfect GPA, Ben James’ voice drifts over the hallway din.

“Hey, Juno,” Ben calls. What I remember of Asteria’s face floats before me in my mind’s eye, saying, “He’s mine, Juno.” I decide to ignore him, but Emma has another plan in mind.

“Hey, Ben!” Emma babbles as she shoves something extra into my backpack. Probably my pencil pouch from the sound, but I can’t tell with all this noise. This is when I hate being blind the most. Freshman girls are talking too loudly to my right...or are they to my left? And who is that yelling about Friday’s Lock-In? Mrs. Leicester? Or Mrs. Perchnap, the secretary? I can’t tell, damn it, there’s too much noise. So I use that as my excuse for not talking to Ben.

“What’d you say, Emma?” I ask who I think is Emma a little to my left.

"I'm not Emma," says a snobbish voice. Whoops, it’s a freshman girl. Damn.

“Over here, dear,” says Emma, gently pointing me to the right. I feel the heat of another body–Ben. Great.

“Hey, mind if I help you guys out?” Ben asks, taking a bag, I assume. Maybe I was wrong earlier... No, what am I thinking? I’ve never liked Ben, ever since the sixth grade when he killed the class pet and blamed me. Asteria has described what he looks like to me before, but I don’t remember much. Just nice eyes and a good jawline. I guess puberty was good to him, because I also remember she’d described him with acne and a huge nose. I try to focus on what’s happening.

“Come on, Juno,” says Emma, taking my arm. Ben starts clearing the hallway.

“GET OUT OF THE WAY, FRESH MEAT,” Ben bellows down the hall. “CAN’T YOU SEE I AM TRYING TO ESCORT THESE LADIES TO THEIR CARS? GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY!”

Emma and I start laughing so hard, I have to sit down when we get outside because laughing too hard while I’m standing disorients me.

“I can’t believe you just,” I gasp, wiping my eyes. I can’t even finish my sentence. Goodness me, I sound like a Tumblr post. I lift my face to the sunlight and let out the last of my laughter.

“Are you done?” asks Ben, sitting beside me. Too close. I scoot over a bit and then stand up, remembering myself.

“Uh, yeah,” I say, trying to regain my I-Don’t-Like-You mindset, but finding it more difficult than usual. Emma and Ben start talking about the Lock-In so I can lose myself for a second.

Think of all the mean stuff you’ve seen Ben do over the years, I think to myself. I think back...

A blind twelve-year-old feels for the water fountain. Ben is already there, holding down the button without the girl's knowledge, spraying her as soon as she bends down.

C’mon, Juno, it was sixth grade, myself answers. Get over it. But the memories come again.

A sighted six year old wants to nap next to Asteria, but Ben is already there, replacing her. A sighted six year old has no snack, because Ben stole it. A sighted seven year old loses her backpack and finds it in the trash, graffitied and torn apart by Ben and his cronies. A freshly blind eight year old stumbles up the stairs, only to be tripped at the top by–who else?–Ben.

This is Asteria’s territory, I argue. I can’t.

Fine, myself sighs.

Maybe I’m not blind. Maybe I’m just clinically insane. Hearing my name breaks me from my thoughts. No, hearing Ben say my name breaks me from my thoughts. Damn you, heart, stop running so fast.

“What’s that?” I ask, feeling Emma’s hand on my shoulder, pulling me up between them, so we’re walking three-across.

“I was asking if you were coming Friday,” Ben says, “to the, uhm...the Lock-In?” He helps me over a curb to Frey’s car, where I hear Frey blasting–what else?–The Fray.

“Uhhm,” I say.

“She’s coming,” Emma says. I can hear the smile in her words. I can feel it echo in my brain, reverberating against that little door behind which I keep all my personal feelings. That smile knocks on the door. Praise God, no one answers.

“Cool,” says Ben, like something metaphorically resonant did not just happen inside my head.

“See you Friday,” I manage to get out before Ben walks away, his shoes hitting the pavement, perfectly, beautifully offbeat. As soon as he’s out of squeak-shot, Emma starts squealing loud enough to be heard over Never Say Never. Frey turns the radio down.

“What’s interrupting my Fray time?” he asks. Or did he ask, “What’s interrupting my Frey time”? The world may never know.

“Ben just totally asked Juno out!” Emma screams.

“What!?” says another voice behind me. I turn slowly, facing the sound. Her anger radiates like a nuclear bomb freshly detonated. I’m glad I can’t see her face, because I’m sure it’s monstrous.

“Asteria, calm down,” Frey says, putting a hand on my shoulder from behind me. “Juno didn’t do anything.”

“And Ben didn’t really ask Juno out,” Emma explains nervously. I can feel her fidgeting beside me. “I just...I just exaggerated!”

“What,” Asteria growls, “exactly did he say?”

“He asked me if I would be at the Lock-In on Friday,” I say, my voice surprisingly calm in the face of doom. “And I said I would be because I will be.”

“I–” Asteria stops. She tries again. “I just–” Third time’s the charm. “I can’t!” Asteria screams at last. I hear her stamping her foot and slamming the car door shut. Frey rubs my shoulder, probably thinking it’ll calm me down, but I’m not upset. Sisterly fights occur on the daily, and this day is no exception.

“What happened?” Arinna’s voice asks me from my bottom right. Asteria always picks her up from the Meltdown Elementary. I'm just glad Asteria's half-drunkenness didn't affect her ability to remember our little sister. Phew.

Breathe, Juno, I think. Everything's fine.

“Nothing, hun,” I say, feeling for her head. I pat it lightly. “C’mon, let’s go.”