I am the Unbent–
That's not synonymous with inflexible.
I am the Straight and Narrow–
That's not synonymous with judgmental.
I am the Outcast–
That's not synonymous with worthless.
You are the L, the G, the B, the T, the Q, the I, the A.
Those are not synonymous with the lesser.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
137,435 Literary Works • 672,020 Reviews
Hey there!
I thought I might review some past works because I stalk the pages of the past...
I'll start with positive, because that's mainly all I have for you. I greatly appreciated the format of this poem. To me, the interruptions appeared to be corrections or reminders to society of the fallacies in modern day stereotypes.
I particularly enjoyed the third and fourth lines:
To me, it appeared you were referencing religion, specifically Christianity or Catholicism. I believe various times throughout the Bible the statement appears: "I am the Straight and Narrow path," or others of its likeness. I am not sure if that's what you were directly referencing, if at all, but I felt it tied in well with the surrounding "Unbent" and "Outcast" lines. If it had not been for the last two lines, I would have believe you were writing exclusively of religion. However, with the last two lines I read it to be in accordance with the continuous queer rights movement.
I simply wanted to give my interpretation of your fabulous work here. All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed the style and the message you were presenting.
Please let me know if you ever would like me to look at some of your writing,
-Jade
Well, I really liked this. I think the title was what really pulled me in, and the poem lived up to the title. However, I do understand it is rather tasteless to criticize on the usage of capitalization by the author of poetry, yet I shall speak up anyway. I don't understand why the first word is capitalized, but the "not synonyms" are not. (Unbent:inflexible, Straight and Narrow:judgmental)
I also don't think you need dashes at the end of these lines (Unbent....Narrow...etc.) especially since you don't stay consistent until the end (the second to last line ends in a period, not a dash). If you stayed consistent, I might not have commented on it, since it gives the lines a rather, BAM BAM feel that seems appropriate.
Otherwise, I thought this was great. I really, really liked it....nah, I didn't. I loved it. There. I said it. I LOVED IT!
Overall rating: 9.5/10
Wow, thank you!
No prob, you deserve it!
Hi, I found this short and cutting poem pretty interesting, however, whether I am just slow to process stuff or just tired, I had this nagging feeling as i read each line. It was an annoying feeling as if I had to spend a tonne of time making sense of each line. But hey, again, I could of just been a bit slow, sometimes poetry is complex but still well done. Anyway, as much as the concept behind the piece was great, I felt a sense of pointlessness behind the lines at some points...for instance;
I am the Straight and Narrow–
That's not synonymous with judgmental.
Like, I get what you are trying to say, but what is it like symbolic of? And i dunno, some straight people are judgmental? Were you trying to voice that they shouldn't be? I just feel like the whole centre focus on the word synonymous just didn't quite fit. But the concept was great. Good job
I'll clear that right up for you! I'm a devout Catholic, and a lot of times people have this preconception that I'm uptight and judgmental of people who don't share my views but that's not the case.
Ah! This is awesome! I can see it as some chant people would use to get people riled up! Like a pep chant!
At first I was a little confused.in which side was being supported, because it starts off with tbe straight.. i thought maybe the straight was going to... Well im am not sure. Exactly who is saying this, if some one is? Is it a supporter of the LGTBQIA who is straight or just a person? Or does it even matter who id saying it? That's just a question I have.
the poem is great though; as I saif before i can se it being used as a chant or used in a pro LGTBQIA campaign. Awesome!
I don't really think the narrator is supporting LGTBQIA so much as just saying that just because they don't, that doesn't mean they hate those people. I'm glad someone has finally stood up and said that it's the ideas that people like me are against, not the people themselves.
So that would then make the poem not pro LGTBQIA? And I think people have been saying they are against these ideas for a while, not the people themselves. But I think mo$t of those people rema8n in obscurity for some reason. As for this site, however some people have expressed or at least implied that they are against these ideas, particularly on this site, dragonofphoenix with his Childhood Is Dead poem. But with that perspective that you've given me on the poem, I think it's more clear now. Thanks.
Those are both great interpretations!
Sorry I took so long to clear that up; I didn't notice this until just now!
Actually, the speaker is myself.
I love both of your ideas, mostly because they're a lot more complex than what I had in mind.
I support LGTBQIA 100%, which is weird because I'm a really devout Catholic, I'm straight, and I just have no real reason to be other than I think every human deserves the same rights. My message in this is that not everyone who belongs to a certain faith or faction or belief or creed or what have you necessarily is against the same things that that group is against. If that makes sense.
But honestly, you guys have really delved into this, and I really appreciate it. Every and all interpretations are correct, but what I just described is what I originally had in mind.
That's alright!
That's awesome! @RoyalHighness I just have one question that I was too lazy to put into my review:
I'm not quite sure how the first line relates to the rest. I mean, I get it, but it kind of veers off from the whole lgbtqia supporter theme.
*flails* Hi, I loved this poem!
Like seriously, I think it was so good for something so small. And therefore it will be hard to critique, since I see nothing wrong with it, so I'll just fangirl here and say I'm a firm LGBTQ supporter, being bisexual and all, and I loved the message you conveyed here.
I like how you used the word "synonymous" to draw the line that connects the word and what society takes it for. I especially loved the straight and narrow are not synonymous with judgmental. That part shows me that not all heterosexuals are so quick to judge someone for their sexuality.
If I did have to make one suggestion, it's that you take the LGBTQIA and combine it all into one. The repetition of "you are the __" is a bit bland, and I feel like the poem would be smoother if you combined the letters all into one line, but it's all up to you.
Either way, this poem was still very very good and I'm super glad I read this. Thank you for sharing. This was beautifully written, with an awesome message that was told using a nice example and comparison. I enjoyed this more than I can say.
I actually had all the letters in one line originally...I'll go back and change it when I have time. I'm glad you liked it!!
That should be a