is there anything we can
there are no words for
i've been sitting here trying to write this for half an
my heart goes out to
there is only silence
(for now)
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139,447 Literary Works • 672,564 Reviews
Chilow here for the review, here we go :/
Cheers
Of course, there is little that can be said on these subjects that has not already been said. Now that I've put that out there, I can honestly say that (while I acknowledge I am biased positively towards short and simple poems) this poem is truly a piece of art, though a sorrowful one at that. Most poets, I feel, would go about this process and simply be unable to put their thoughts on such a terrible subject to paper, (or a computer, in this case) but you took the writing process to a new level of being able to take your own inability to write about the recent horrible events, and turn it into something just as capable of conveying emotion as any words. Truly, that is a skill worth pride. You have my respect and commendations. Keep up the fantastic work
Wow, thank you so much! Happy review day!
I think that this is so powerfully creative , I really admire what you've written here . You've clearly highlighted the thoughts and feelings on the current matter, that many are struggling to verbalize their feelings on right now. It's effectively short as you've concisely said what needs to be said. Very admirable I love it, and I've got a lot of respect for you emphasizing this. Well done.
You wrote all that needs to be said.
Heartfelt, but perhaps it could be more eloquent
God, this is so great because you can feel the frustration of wanting to write something to commemorate the tragedy but not being able to. It's very sincere and powerfully says a lot without really saying anything. It sort of shows the shock factor surrounding the incident.
This is Yams here for a review!
I think you could've tried to make it longer, at least. There's one stanza, and all of it is crossed out. I get the idea that you're using the gimmick of not finishing your lines like you couldn't start them, but I personally find this underwhelming.
I will give it to you that the one stanza you have is creative in its ways of pulling emotion.
I felt like the ending could've been stronger if you had actually said less in the last part instead of bluntly saying "there is only silence"
Hope my review helped and have a great day!
Thank you, but usually in times of tragedy on this site, we don't /really/ review works that are written about them. This is a time for discussion and validation of everybody's expression of grief over a horrific act of terror; it's not a time for poetic criticism, no matter how kindly it's intended.
I thought i'd get a response about this, and you were the one who chose to post this? Not trying to be mean, but you're the one who posted it, so I fulfilled my end of the bargain and reviewed it. Publishing it implies you want a review. I feel as much as you do on the tragedy. There are other places to post this. You could've posted it on your blog or wall and there's even a thread called "I wrote a poem but I don't need reviews". Not trying to come off mean.
Yo, Royal, I've kind of thought about it and I figure everyone's upset over this and we don't need to be fighting each other. Sorry if I came off like I didn't care about your feelings and the whole situation.
Thank you, I appreciate that. And I'm sorry if I overreacted; I know you meant well. Today's a new day, so we can start afresh.
Yep c:
I am sorry for intruding into this thread. But I found this really beautiful to see two people, correct in their own right, accepting the fact that they could be wrong and the other one right. A very rare scenario these days. Kudos to you both.
And much love to the writer for this simple yet moving piece.
This was very creative, and the minute i read this, i sensed the powerful message you implied for it to have. Its very hard to talk about this situation right now, because there are no words to describe this. This piece carries a powerful message that you worded perfectly. Thank you for writing this.
WOW, this is really cool! The sincereness and ideas of this, though it is very short, cannot be overlooked. It demonstrates a powerful message, but one that I completely agree with. The word choice and almost ominous feeling about it is incredible and is something that well establishes that powerful message I mentioned earlier. If you ever make edits to this, just make sure the original message stays strong.
-Ruby
if only the dead could talk.