she used to call me “pastel.”
a word sneered through thick black lipstick
like a slur,
though she said it was
her pet name
for me.
at the end of it,
she told me I was “toxic,”
and I hear it each day,
even though
she sent it
in a text.
I’ve changed my tumblr tag, and
it seems like such a small step.
but I couldn’t let her have
that last word:
“pastel.”
my favorite hue, turned insult.
“pastel.”
a word that once meant calm to me.
“pastel.”
as if my colors weren’t strong enough,
as if I were too soft to matter,
something to be
swept aside
for louder things.
I've come to learn
that there is
a certain strength
in softness.
that's why my tag
now reads
pastel and proud.
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139,448 Literary Works • 672,565 Reviews
Hey!
I like this poem and what it stands for. I can tell this is a very personal, rather narrative poem.
I think that this situation (pretty much just classic bullying) is something that everyone goes through, and that's one thing that makes this poem so good. It's relatable.
I'm kinda iffy on the whole "tumblr tag" thing. I mean, you make it out as sort of a big deal in this, but as you said yourself, it's not really that big of a thing. So why mention it twice? But then again, small steps seem big to those who are being bullied, so I guess it's an okay thing.
So I think I get what you're trying to say here, that because someone pointed out your flaw, you feel like you actively need to cover it up and prove them wrong, but something about this particular example strikes me as... unfitting, or something. I just don't feel like it belongs perfectly. It doesn't really /not/ belong, but still. I'm mostly trying to give you some advice, because I really think you can't get much better than what you have already.
The flow and pacing are good, and no spelling or grammar stood out to me as wrong.
Not only do I like the message of anti bullying and quiet strength, but that there is strength in softness too. We need to hear that message more sometimes.
Thanks for writing this and sharing it with us. I really liked reading it.
Let me know if you have any questions, and I hope this helped!
~fortis
Thank you fortis!! I agree, I think the weak stanza is a little out of place and I could quite fit the tumblr tag thing in there in a way that wrapped it up so I just repeated it for lack of a better technique. I think I'll take out the weak bit and combine the last two main stanzas to get rid of that repetition. Thanks so much for your review!!!
Hello Remington38 here for a reveiw!!!!!
The title of this caught my attention cause it stood out in such a unique way. I absolutely loved this poem and think that it was written breautifully. I love the way it flowed and had so much emotion to it. It wa so creative and I feel like it is relatable to a lot of people. Overall I loved everything about this. You are a very talented writer.