Young Writers Society

Hey! IamTraunt here to review!

I love the use of your vocabulary. Its incredible.
Antagonism - active hostility or opposition.
Egomania - Egomania also known as an obsessive preoccupation with one's self and applies to someone who follows their own ungoverned impulses.
Howitzers - a short gun for firing shells on high trajectories at low velocities.
Sorry, I had to do that just to classify the meaning.

So, obviously you are using the theme of life and death, its quite an open subject. Its very interesting and can cover so many topics, and you did that really well. Your use of vocabulary also had a nice and useful meaning to it, each of your words were needed.

One of your most powerful lines are the first two in Stanza 1:

Blood everywhere, another life gone.
Blood everywhere, another one born.

This is a really a piece ,beautified with the use of such strong metaphors and terms,that it looks like quite a piece of poetry revelling in all its antiquity.
Loved the phrases "Blood everywhere, another life gone.
Blood everywhere, another one born.
Antagonism and happy folk,
So many still empty and broke."

And must say,you are quite good at this.Keep polishing your pieces ,they are too full of hot emotions like -Lava

Keep Writing.

Hi

This work was very frantic.

I liked the repetition and the introductory sound of the first stanza:

Blood everywhere, another life gone.
Blood everywhere, another one born.
Antagonism and happy folk,
So many still empty and broke.

Slowly, then all at once outspread,
Howitzers which have led to death.
A chance you were given,
Choose- Hell or Heaven.