Because of the reviews written by some of the people in my last poem, I will be writing a longer one this time! Enjoy! :D
Forsaken
Those who are lost are forsaken,
Those who are happy are sorrowed,
Those who are found are taken,
Those who find joy are delinquent,
Being lost
is being found
Like a silent voice
and a silent sound
No one can hear you
yet they can mock you
No one can see you
yet they can find you
No one can know you
yet they can hurt you
No one has felt you
Yet they can love you
Five times thrice they misunderstand you
Your rhythm is broken into parts
You trust them, you love them, you never let them go
Yet they only know their own hearts
A happy life
Is impossible
A successful one
is sorrowful
Then how does one know which to choose?
And how does one know which will lose?
The chosen life
is fleeting
For life is not something to choose.
For life is something to lose.
If you find joy,
spread it around
else you are a delinquent
transfixed in a daze,
the joy will leave you
if you fail to let it graze.
Those who are lost are forsaken,
Those who are happy are sorrowed,
Those who are found are taken,
Those who find joy are delinquent,
Yet once you die, you truly awaken
Not my best work, but feedback is appreciated!
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139,264 Literary Works • 672,523 Reviews
Wow, this was an amazing poem!
I loved all your stanzas and how they rhymed through out the whole poem. There was so much power and emotion to it. It was amazing! One of my favorite parts was the beginning and how you repeated again towards the end. "Those who are lost are forsaken, Those who are happy are sorrowed, Those who are found are taken, Those who find joy are delinquent." I feel like those words had so much meaning in them. The other part I really liked was. "If you find joy,
spread it around, else you are a delinquent" To me it's means, life is fleeting, and that just makes everything more important. If you find something special, you wan't to hold onto it, and not share it with the world. To do that, it would kind of be a crime in a way, when you can share the joy, and make someones day. Then there is this part, "transfixed in a daze, the joy will leave you, if you fail to let it graze." I guess, if you fail to let the joy replenish it's self, by giving people joy instead of just yourself. It will die, because you are so transfixed on having it to yourself. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but that is my interpretation of it. Thanks so much for sharing your poem!
Can't wait to read what you write next!
Carpe diem,
LUNARGIRL
Thank you so much! That was partly my intention of this poem.
To sum it up, the point was that some things in life may be good, like joy, but the surface is different from the inside, which is that joy should be given, not kept
No problem, loved reading it!
Much of my writing work is experience I've had in my life and things I've read about that inspired me.
I'm very glad that you loved reading it! There is nothing more that a writer could want than people enjoying their work!
Thank you!
Wow oh wow!!! This is truly an amazing piece of writing! I loved this!
thank you