The beautiful sun rises,
lighting up the day,
bringing warmth and peace to grass,
and pretty words to say,
~
The sun is at its peak,
Its reached the height of noon,
But it begins to drop,
Dropping much too soon.
~
The sun now smugly sets,
moving far away,
Leaving stony, ice-cold fear,
leading us astray.
~
The sun is finally gone,
taking back its light,
leaving us alone and scared,
Leaving us with fright,
~
But the sun won't ever see,
What we can see here
we can see a starry sky,
we see without the fear,
~
So when the sun returns,
brings back its blinding light,
But what it won't even care to know,
Is the beauty of the night.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,738 Reviews
This is a pretty good poem that, the style reminds me a lot of nocturnes and aubades, mostly aubades. The rhyme scheme is good and constant across the six stanzas of the poem. It also uses repetition well through out the poem. I also enjoy the general theme and tone of the poem. Another thing to note is the pacing, the pacing feels slow but in a good way. The way the pacing matches the subject matter, passing time, works really well. I also like how each stanza feels as if it is covering a different part of a whole, the whole being the theme that units it all.
Lets get into today's review!!!
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Plot
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It is quite a unique poem because normally people describe day as beautiful, warm and all the other pretty words as you mentioned above and describe night as all gloomy, dark and evil
But you mentioned how beautiful a night is with all the stars and the moon.
~~~~~
Mistake
~~~~~
"Its reached the height of noon,
But it begins to drop,
Dropping much too soon."
Here I guess 'Its' should be It's. As it is a short form of 'It has' not the possessive form of 'it'. A little bit mistake it doesn't matter.
~~~~~~
"But the sun won't ever see,
What we can see here
we can see a starry sky,
we see without the fear,"
This ought to be my favorite line!
~~~~~~
Overall it's ofcourse a very nice poem
Keep writing!!!
Alice
Thanks for the review!!