How cruel is the truth of reality,
It envelopes our sense of joy,
Our lives are affected,
by the flick of a hand,
From Truth's fully devious ploy,
~~~
But with the shield we know as Lies,
We defend ourselves from Truth,
We cower away,
overpowered today,
Hoping to save our youth,
~~~
But why, may you ask, are Lies the one,
that saves us from extinction?
how can deception,
make nothing but corruption,
why don't we let Truth sink in?
~~~
we can use the hand of dreams
to twist our fate creatively
but when the day ends,
I know this, my friends,
only Lies return unfazingly
~~~
In the end, there is nothing but falsehoods,
falsehoods that make us smile,
those who choose
to deny the Lies,
they run the extra mile
~~~
But those who can fully accept the Truth,
the painful, painful reality,
those are the mighty
the strong and the sightly
but they are the few potpourri,
~~~
trapped in everlasting abyss
the darkness of our sorrow
our blood, our tears
our pain, our fears,
they're all the reality of tomorrow.
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139,259 Literary Works • 672,523 Reviews
𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘬𝘳𝘢𝘣,
This poem is wonderfully constructed and was clearly written with love and selective diction. So many lines caught my eye, yet there were only a few that shone brighter than the reactions of chemiluminescence.
The first line that struck me deeply was: "we can use the hand of dreams
to twist our fate creatively."
This line is so rich with different interpretations, but I immediately took it to mean that people tend to run from their fate by seeking different distractions, such as dreaming. It's so true for so many, and you captured that wonderfully.
The second line that caught me by surprise was:
"But with the shield we know as
Lies,
We defend ourselves from Truth,"
My..this was a line that made me ponder for a minute. Again exposing the flaws we as humans all share. The truth hurts like alcohol on a deep cut, and we as humans would do anything to not accept the fate which is the truth. It's so fine in how you wrote this, so much truth in such a mere thing as poetry.
May this conclusion find you well.
𝘍𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘋𝘳.𝘝𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘦
HELLO THERE YOSHI VEER HERE TO REVIEW
let me start by saying you have done a very, very good job all around here with your poem. you've turned truth and lie into proper nouns by making sure they are upper case when you mention them, which i found very interesting. it gave them a sort of life, like they were more than just words, but something to pay attention to. you also have some very witty lines thrown in there:
this was brilliantly written. i have to say, well done.
now, i am a sucker for anything existential, so if something makes me think more deeply, i am drawn to it. i'm not going to say i'm a complete fan of how everything was presented or written, but i will applaud you for your ability to get me thinking.
what you do is bring up the point that the truth is harder to accept than a lie. this seems to be accurate in most situations, as it is not uncommon for someone to lie about something in order to not hurt someone else with the truth. however, i find this is only the case when the truth is something hard to swallow. if i were to say it is true that the grass is green, this would not be a hard truth to accept, yet if i were to say that all grass is fake and a simulation created by the government (i know it isn't but for examples sake), this would be much harder to accept, and so lying by saying the grass is green would be much easier.
what i think would be the next step to bringing life into this poem is introducing the fact that some truths are harder than others. once we come to terms with the fact that lies can not cover all of the hard truths, that is when we become aware of the "painful reality" as you call it.
i'm not sure about how i feel about you ending the poem on such a somber note, but i think it does well to leave the reader thinking. if that was your intention, then kudos for you. other than that, i enjoyed the poem!
keep on writing and i hope to see more from you soon!
thanks for the review!
(And also-- grass' lower half is yellow . . .)
Chancing a review.
I enjoyed this poem. The premise of lies being what save most of us is odd and unspoken but absurdly true. Most of us lie to ourselves to feel respected, to get over an ex, or even to just not feel lazy. I thought you were just going to continue discussing the fact about how lying comforts us, but you justified truth too. It was a twist and it was a powerful moment. ' Yeah, we lie to ourselves more often than not- but it is when we tell the truth- that we are rightfully brave.' I love your use of punctuation, grammar seems on point. I did not see spelling errors. I loved your peice. Keep writing.
:>
Much love,
Shadow
<3333
Thanks for the review!
you are always welcome
Hello Yoshikrab! A very beautiful poem. I like it very much because it raises the question of what is better for a counterpart. Truth or lie? I think everyone has to decide for themselves what they think is better for them and their friends.I also like it very much because it deals with a very moral topic, to what extent a lie is better than the truth or vice versa.
<3
Hi Yoshi! This is A review by my Hailey on your Amazing piece! This is super good, I loved it. This flows really well, which I've notice in a lot of your writing. I personally didn't find any spelling errors and any mistakes.
"In the end, there is nothing but falsehoods,
falsehoods that make us smile,
those who choose
to deny the Lies,
they run the extra mile" This is got to be my favorite part just because of how advanced You worded this, its probably just advanced wording for me though. I Love that It make so much sense and that it actual does have an aspect of Reality. Over all this was really well done. Thank you Yoshi for writing this!
p.s Love you Prof picture, theyre amazing and that anime is amazing!
Thanks for the review!
(P.S. I wanted to find a picture of kuroko only but this was the best I could find)