Ahem, I was in a bit of a MOOD when I wrote the last poem, 'Lies', and I literally drafted it up in five minutes and published it, but this is a similar poem that I worked harder on :P
You're such a nice person!
they tell you, behind the curtain,
they don't know your pain,
nor how much you're hurtin'
She's just so honest!
they whisper, grinning,
they don't know you're lying,
you're crying, sinning,
He never tells a lie!
they reach and embrace you
they can't see the lies
that eternally face you
They can't be a liar!
they faithfully say
as they honestly run
and prance and they play
She seems so honest!
seeing is believing
He can't be telling lies!
truth is decieving
They aren't a liar!
you'll be the one grieving
for their loss
when you lie again
you can try again
but it won't happen
your lies'll be tappin'
and you're lies will be flyin'
and your mouth--
it'll just keep lyin'
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,264 Literary Works • 672,523 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening!
I really loved your poem!
It started with four stanza's each one with four lines. They each spoke of a different type of lies, and of masks that you wear. Then it gets short. and the short ones seem to speed up the poem, making it seem like the person lying is about to break.
And then everything pours out. The piles of lies, that never stop, and will never end.
This was my interpretation of this poem, and it seems like raw, true, and unfiltered emotion. I really loved this poem.
-Lizzy
Thank you for the review!
Good Poem Great Write Would Love Too Read More Sometime
Thank you!
Hi! Its Rodionandaxe, how do you do? Here's a little review,
First thing, i love the fact that you have used so many perspectives in this poem, usually poems that deal with decieving people or hiding ones true self its about one person but here as i understand there are many (the fact that you keep changing the pronouns).
The most wonderful thing about your poetry is how pleasant it is to read, how it beautifully rhymes and how one can imagine someone singing it. The rhythm makes it really enjoyable.
I also had a question, what if i were to perceive this poem as the same protagonist changing their gender among different people? I mean, i think its important for the reader to know how the poet wants them to interpret the poem also i think the poet's opinion about how their poem should be perceived matters a lot too.
All in all, i loved your poem. Its a wonderful piece. Its also relatable because all of us have tried to hide our emotions and appear cheery and jolly at least at some point. So keep writing such inspiring pieces. Can't wait to read more of your work.
Toodles!
(I just realized i did not submit this as a review. i am new around here, i do not know how to fix this, so i am sorry.)
Thank you for the review!
Ah, well, the changing of the pronouns is actually because I'm genderfluid. I didn't really intend to add that into the poem, but it just happened.
I'm so happy that my poem is inspiring to you! Thank you for reading!
Cool. I have never read a work from the perspective of someone who is genderfliud. That info helps me understand it better.
Keep inspiring
Hi! This is nightshadows bring a new comment live to a theater near you! Ok, so enough of my weirdness here are my thoughts:
Oh why hello there! Saw that you legged me in this and I like had to read it!!! I love the way that it repeats its points throughout the story and i loved the strong ending!!!
when you lie again
you can try again
but it won't happen
your lies'll be tappin'
and you're lies will be flyin'
and your mouth--
it'll just keep lyin'
Totally sound slike something you could add a tune too!! Love it so much!! Great job <3
Thank you for the review!