Up close

I enjoyed the simplicity and repetition in the piece. I agree with Chocolate Cello as far as "the night engulfs the day". I think it really helps the flow of the poem.

The conclusion of the poem is stuffed full of truth-- things are not always the same when you take a closer look.

One little thing, and this is just my opinion, the "They sure attract the crowds" I would change to "They always attract crowds". Great job on this piece!

I thought this poem was cute. Very simple idea, and I really liked it. Sometimes a very simple idea can be turned into something wonderful.

This was a very almost perfect poem. I just found a few errors here and there, but overall I honestly thing Chocolate Cello, got to them before I did. But that's okay! (I don't mean anything mean Chocolate Cello).

Anyway, I really liked your poem.

For such a simple idea it was a very amazing poem, and I hope to read more of your work.

Keep up the great writing,
Love,
Dogs <3

Hey! Cello here!

I thought this was really cute. It was a very simple idea, and it was written very well. The simplicity of it all was just so beautiful, so perfect, I couldn't help but smile.

When I review, I tend to edit more than praise, as I want to help the author improve, but honestly, this was pretty close to perfect. I'll still try to make come suggestions though...

Stars are so pretty,

From far, far away,

They twinkle and sparkle,

When night engulfs day.

But if you get close,

As close as can be,

The stars aren't so pretty,

For black is all you see.

Overall I think that this is a beautiful poem. It's a great metaphor for life I think, of how everything often looks better from far away. The way you described it, made me envision a night sky and therefore I loved reading this.

I do however think that some small things could have been worded or punctuated differently.

For example, I'd place a full stop instead of a comma after "From far, far away" as it is the end of a sentence. "They twinkle and sparkle" should be a new sentence in my opinion.

I also think that the sentence "They sure attract the crowds" doesn't 'flow' very well if that makes sense. The expression 'sure' here is something I'd sooner use in spoken language than in written language. So I think if this sentence were worded a little differently, it make the poem nicer to read and it would also have more effect.

I have to say though that I loved the last bit of this poem. The last sentence is very powerful. I think you did a great job there. With some minor adjustments, this could be perfect poem. But take what you want from what I've said, because it's just my opinion. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with your poem, everybody has a different taste and opinion on what works and what doesn't.