Dancing with the Devil

Hey, cool cat writer.
I saw your poem and i gotta say, I enjoyed it. It wouldn't be horror, per say, in the means of terrifying and scaring your reader, but it certainly is eerie and unsettling.

It had a sort of taboo intimacy. The way the Devil tricked the girl and the dance, the blood, the kiss.. All of this. It's interesting. It gives the imagery contrast of an elegant couple dancing privately, giving a sort of infringing feel, but then it cuts to the picture of whispers in the dark and cold fingers wrapped around your wrist.

It's very dark and intense, but also loose like a spirit entwined around your waist. Referring to the line with the dark room but shining eyes starts to get you thinking about a wild animal cornering you, teeth bared in a loving grimace.

Honestly. It pains me that it is so short, but it grips you for the brisk ride, and drops you on your head, in awe and in a most uncomfortable position.
Please continue writing. I'd like to see what you create next.

cool poem

Hello dear ,
It was really a horror with some sparkles of suspense and thrill. I liked when it came..
"I could feel his breath, close to my ear"

This was quite cool expressing her feelings in some simple text with amazing rhyming.

""I looked down to my chest with horror and dread,
My white dress was turning a deep crimson red.
It wasn't my heart I'd heard slowly beating,
"It's me, my dear, the Devil's cheating.""

These were my most favourate stanza , it grew tree of suspence and was mind blowing .
you keep on writing , your treasury of words is also huge i liked it.
Great reading and great music , i appreciate your work and ask my friends to do so.
thank you for your work.

This is well, in plain words an amazing poem. I just loved it. I mean it does remind me of that breaking benjamin song " Dancing With The Devil" (I love this song). I think that this poem has some very good aspects to it and ha ha. I am very glad this peom made it this far because it does have a well written structure. Other than what had been seen before with grammar I think this is great. I dont usually correct grammer ha ha unless I see a huge mistake. You did very well and I hope to see much more of your work! Best of luck.

Hi - I'm Sun, in case you didn't know~

Anyways, I'm here for a review. This is a great piece you've composed here, the wonderful layout and rhythm that's set up.

I'd like to start off with the pattern I see. At the end of each stanza, you've put a piece of dialogue to end it and continue on to another stanza. I thought that was very clever to sneak that in. It adds a nice touch to show that you really cared and thought about this poem - clean, I guess is the word.

Next:

"Don't be afraid, just trust me my dear."

"Just follow me dear, I know you can,"

"Its me, my dear, the Devil's cheating."

Hi, I really love your poem it was so interesting. Every last stanza i like the way it says : ""Don't be afraid, just trust me my dear.""Just follow me dear, I know you can,"."Darling dear, just give me one kiss,"."I'm glad you're here, I'm glad you stayed."."I'm sorry my dear, but it's time to part,"."Its me, my dear, the Devil's cheating." I really love it and it was catchy. When i read this:"Don't be afraid, just trust me my dear." I was like what? What do he mean don't be afraid? Like it is romance and why is she going to afraid. I was thinking that in my mind. And in the end it says:""Its me, my dear, the Devil's cheating." I was like OMG! I never knew that the guy was a devil who dance with the women! I also was like "what" on this:"My white dress was turning a deep crimson red." I realize why it turn to crimson red because a devil is red too!So i really love your poem it is really catchy and keep writing poems and HAPPY WRITING!


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Very chilling and atmospheric, well done. I like the way you make it cyclic by referring to the light again at the end, and the twist at the end is very effective, and not expected. There are just a few wordings I would change:

-his eyes of death -> the eyes of Death, just because it makes more sense;

-we'd make a pair -> we made a pair, because the tense has been past up until this point.

These are only suggestions, the decision is, obviously, yours.

Other than that it was very good, and well worth reading.

Hello! Tigerlilly here to review!

Okay so I just wanted to say the rhyme scheme is absolutely amazing. It flows really well and the way you do each stanza is perfect. I found the theme very interesting to read, especially because of its originality. Your punctuation is on point, and it has an intriguing beginning as well as a strong ending. I'm not sure I can find anything to change, honestly.

Overall, this poem is incredible. It not only has an interesting story to it, but its really well written. I really enjoyed it, and I definitely look forward to reading more of your works. Keep writing, and stay awesome!