Everything

by ticktock123

Published October 13, 2015

E - Everyone

In Poems

You think your worst off than everyone,

That your life's the worst,

When actually you have everything to be thankful for,

everything

-

You think you're scraping the floor,

That you're crawling along,

When actually you're miles off the ground,

miles

-

You think you're beneath the world,

Nothing ever goes right,

But if you look hard enough,

Life is full of light.

Comments & reviews · 5
TheDreamWriter wrote a review Review · Nov 27, 2015

Ah yet another Amazing poem. You see I have been reading many poems today and this is great. This poem is great because I do know tons of poeple who think they got life bad and they kind of just need to, well open thier eyes haha. You seem like a good poet and I must ask, did you just write this piece or plan it? I personally love the free writen, no plan poems because they are more natural. Although dont get me wrong its always good to plan. I really like this piece and I hope you continue with your amazing writing.

Hi! Thank you so much! Yeah that's exactly how I wrote it, I wanted to convey the message that people have no idea how hard they have it, but with no prominent rhyme scheme so I had more freedom. I'm glad you liked it - a lot of people said it wasn't as good with no structure so thank you so much. I'll check out some of your work too ;-)
Thank you so so much!!!
Tick tock

Nothing comes up on your portfolio - are there works in progress or do you just no have any inspiration? If I can help with anything just pm me.
Tick tock

I have one thing on this site. As my username is the dream writer I write mostly about dreams. My only work is called "Another Place..." You do not have to view it if you dont want. I have tons of inspiration from my dreams.

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beccampho Comment
beccampho commented Comment · Nov 10, 2015

Hey there

I feel like your poem has a lot of potential and could have had a bit more depth. It seems a bit interesting but you could have added much more expresive words.

I like it a bit, and the ending is almost not complete and could have been dragged a bit further.

Keep writing!

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musicnotes
Review
musicnotes wrote a review Review · Oct 16, 2015

Hello TickTock,
I'm new to the Young Writer's Society and I was wondering if I could give your poem a quick review. :)

First of all, I really feel like the theme that you are trying to portray in your poem has a lot of potential. You just need to expand on those ideas a little more.
So, let's take a look at the beginning of your poem...

You think your worst off than everyone, That your life's the worst

In order to make the first stanza not as repetitive, I would try to change one of the "worst"s to a synonym, maybe something like the lowest or the most unfavorable? Just a suggestion. :)

Other than that, awesome poem! Short and sweet! Keep up the great work! :)

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RedHoodWriter
Review
RedHoodWriter wrote a review Review · Oct 15, 2015

Hey TickTock,
I was hoping I could give you a review.

Okay to start off I like the ideas you used for your poem and I believe there is a lot of potential for this poem to grow. Hopefully I can give you helpful advice to set you on your way.
So something I would suggest to you is to look at this part:


You think your worst off than everyone,

That your life's the worst,


Okay looking at this part I would watch the wording here. Maybe not use "worst" twice in back to back lines. Also in the first line did you mean worse. Like "You think your worse off than everyone? or did you mean like the worst as in "You think your the worst" it kind of gets confusing there.

One other thing to look at is this:

When actually you're miles off the ground,

miles


the formatting seems were here and in the first stanza. I wouldn't want to end the stanzas with just one word because it kind of cuts off the flow of the poem. Also this doesn't match the last stanza of the poem. I don't know if you meant to do this but I thought I would point it out to you.

Other wise great start. Something I would also think about is you title it Everything but the poem is centered about staying positive and having more self confidence. Maybe there could be a stronger title. Other than that great start Keep up the writing.
~ RedHoodWriter.

HolographicLadybug commented Comment · Oct 13, 2015

Hello!

Really great poem! Even without an ending, it's still really good.
I really like how it shows us two sides to life. It was really cool!

I know that wasn't much, but..... Well, that's all then!

Farewell!



It is only a novel... or, in short, only some work in which the greatest powers of the mind are displayed, in which the most thorough knowledge of human nature, the happiest delineation of its varieties, the liveliest effusions of wit and humour, are conveyed to the world in the best-chosen language
— Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey