"Stop crying you wimp!
Dry up those tears."
They all shout and scream,
While I cover my ears.
-
"Children in Africa,
are worst off that you,"
Bullshit they spout,
As if they all knew.
-
"Stop feeling sorry,
for your miserable self!"
They yell while I stare,
At the knife on the shelf.
-
"You don't know how lucky,
you really are,"
First line on my wrist,
First little red scar.
-
"Go to your room!
And don't slam the door!"
Their voices now faint,
from down here on the floor.
-
"Shake yourself up!
Get a hold of yourself!"
The knife in my hands,
Now not on the shelf.
-
"It's not like you're dying,
you have all you need!"
Straight into my chest,
As I steadily bleed.
-
So now it's their turn,
To whimper and cry,
Because I'm laughing my head off,
From here in the sky.
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140,909 Literary Works • 673,726 Reviews
I haven't seen many poems like this. This poem is dark and easy to comprehend, while at the same time not being over-dramatic. Well done!
Thank you so much!
Hi ticktoc123! Cakerissa reporting for Reviewing!
Wow. This is... Dark. I liked how you used a lot of rhymes. Other than being dark I don't think I disliked much about this poem. I didn't find much grammar wise to change about it. I liked how the first two lines of every clump thingy are quotations.
Keep writing!
Cakerissa
Thank you!!! I'm glad you liked the speech.
Tick tock
Hey there, Ticktock.
You know, I've got a buddy who likes to use the username Paradoxal_Clock; yours reminded me of hers for some reason XD
Anyways, I know all too well about how hard the subject matter can be. And if you're living through it, as teenagers with parents who have forgotten the "words will kill you before sticks and stones can" mantra often do, I'm terribly sorry. I've lived through it, and unfortunately never turned to cutting. I know saying "unfortunately" is a horrible thing to say, but I suppose for me, there are worse ways of dealing with depression than cuts and scars.
Enough with the macabre, though XD
This is a beautiful poem, in its own way; I teared up, to be honest. It's well-written, the subject matter is sadly relatable, and the rhyme scheme gives it an innocent touch that drives home the content all the more viciously. It can have double meaning--everything from the "they" to the knife itself can be correlated to something else; insults, beatings, peers and relatives... It's specific enough to be loved and vague enough to be widely relatable.
You did a really good job; keep writing!!
Hi Sherri
Thank you so much for your review! Don't worry - I can't personally relate to what I wrote either, I was just inspired to write something a bit darker. I'm glad you understood it, and liked the rhyming. Thank you so much!