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Advice for a YWS poet

by ticktock123


I've been away from this platform for over 6 years, 

Untouched were my old thoughts and my mind's fears.

-

Lockdown boredom perhaps, but I logged back on tonight,

Convinced my old works would all sound mildly shite. 

-

To be perfectly honest, a lot of them aren't great, 

But there are a couple I do kind of rate. 

-

This poem has nothing significant to say, 

Bar a piece of advice, should you need it one day:

-

Save your YWS password for a future you,

For one day, I can promise you'll be wishing you knew.  


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Wed Apr 14, 2021 4:55 pm
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LilPWilly says...



Thanks lol




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Wed Apr 14, 2021 4:21 am
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NivedaJames22 wrote a review...



Hey ticktock123!

First of all, thanks for the advice. I really like how you express such a simple message in a poetical fashion. I kinda relate, because sometimes when I go look at my old drawings or listen to my old recording, I'm always mildly disgusted at how awful they are, but it never fails to bring a smile to my face, not because pf the brilliance of my work, but because of the memories they hold.

I think I'll heed your advice and write the password down somewhere ASAP.

I really like the last line; it feels kind of prophetic. Sort of like the last stanza of "The Road Not Taken".

On the whole, I really enjoyed this poem. Can't wait to read more of your work.

Keep writing.




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Tue Apr 13, 2021 8:37 am
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stygianmoon17 wrote a review...



Hey there, welcome back to YWS :D

That's actually why every single poem I've written, even if it dates back to five years ago, I keep. I write them down in small books.
Because some might be incredibly cringe, but they're all so filled with nostalgia that it's just so great to re read when you get older ^^

But back to my review.
I feel like sometimes, you placed the rhyming scheme above all else in this poem.
For example, a few times, some sentences were worded in a way that didn't make much sense, just so it could rhyme.
As in here,

But there are a couple I do kind of rate.

What would make more sense is "I do kind of rate as good" or "I find good" but it doesn't rhyme. But if it rhymes but doesn't make sense, maybe find another rhyme that actually fits or change the original rhyme.

For one day, I can promise you'll be wishing you knew.

You'll be wishing you knew what ? Your password ? Or that we'd be wishing we knew that our poems aren't.. shite ? Again, I don't really get what you're going for with the way you worded it.

and yeah that's pretty much it.
Nice poem, and welcome back <333





"If fortis was here, we could have a teal party"
— Pompadour