i'm the last choice of those who reek
of cheap liquor and desperation,
easy prey made palatable
by flattering darkness.
i'm too drunk to give a damn,
yet sober enough to pull away,
wondering if tongues always feel this slimy.
if men are pigs then i'm not even slop,
for who would want to bathe in me?
all i want is someone who
will dance with me in daylight
and dare to kiss me twice.
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Canary word: Present
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139,661 Literary Works • 672,645 Reviews
Whoops - now I'm reading all of your 2013 poems... I'm liking the different poem forms you tried too from the WriterGooder challenges!
I really love this poem! Yes to everything @Morrigan said about it.
It is very empathetic and really has great word choice and imagery. My favorite part would definitely be the last three lines which sum up the rest of the poem, and also I think have the strongest flow with the more consistent syllable length.
Haha yeah 2013 was such a good year for me poetry-wise. Every so often I look back at them and cry because I'm not that productive anymore
. Glad you're enjoying them! 
You've got so much good stuff! (and still do!!)
Hi there, niteowl.
This is lovely. It gave me shivers. This will probably be a short review (that's a good thing, trust me).
I love this stanza so much. I might love it too much.
The only thing I might change is the word "disguising" in the last line. It doesn't feel quite right to me. It seems a little too bland compared to the rest of the stanza.
TRUTH. That's what makes a poem good. Here it is. In this little, hurt line, the truth rests. Awesome.
Niteowl, this is a great poem. I love how you left the i's not capitalized to show the level of the speaker's self esteem. This is just... Ack. I can't even describe it. I hope this review is helpful. Happy poeting!
Thanks!
Hi Niteowl!
Hm... I love how this poem flows, it's beautiful, and I like the reason why it was written because it's not a subject that's been worn out. However, I really dislike that your I's (pronouns) aren't capitalized; I know that poems don't need to have capitalization, but that is a grammar rule that seriously stabs my eyes when it's not followed. xD Perhaps it shows more professionalism too, but I don't know... Hahah. Just a suggestion.
And that's pretty much all I have to say; just wanted to say that. The rest is lovely, I can't deny it. Keep writing!
~GeeLyria
Thanks Gee! I usually go for normal grammar too, but I felt the lowercase I was appropriate since the speaker doesn't feel too highly of herself.
Oooooh. O: Well, now I like it! XD
Oooooh. O: Well, now I like it! XD