Young Writers Society

Hi Niteowl!

omnomnom science poetry! How utterly delicious that you are writing it - I hadn't quite realised how really wonderful science related imagery actually is. Your use of language is wonderful and I'm very super into all of your descriptions (eschews is such a mouthy word!).

I want to ask about your structure. It feels like you were attempting something in the structure of your poem, when looking at the amount of words per line? I think this is what is restricting your final stanza, it doesn't feel complete and part of that is in the first line, which doesn't make much sense unless you move it on to the next line - but it's ineffective as a line itself, which means we're looking at it oddly - at least I am!

Otherwise I think this is a great poem, with beautiful imagery and super clever use of the scientisty terms! Muy impressed. Thanks for posting!

- Penguin.

The Knight Messenger here to review for the honorable knights contest.
I have to completely agree with Iggy on just about everything. I was going to say that I love the BIG words. It really fits the . . . I guess you would say maturity of the poem. I think free verse was also a hood idea (I don't know if you usually write free-verse or not) but it also helps. Sometimes rhyming can make it seem cheesy.

Great metaphors, and no punctuation errors at all. Great job on that.
Keep it up!

Happy Review Day!

As always, niteowl, I'm a big fan of your work. I enjoyed this very much mainly because - big words! I love any opportunity to expand my vocabulary, so thank for giving me an excuse to copy and select "define" on my phone.

Excellent, nice and short, but yet packed with metaphors and imagery galore. I loved it! I'm not much of a poet, so I apologize because I cannot give you a truly indept poetic review. But I know some stuff, and I enjoyed what I read. Nothing, no grammar or just general nitpicks, to distract me. A clear flow, I read it with ease.

Overall, nice job! Nice enough for me to like Keep writing!

For Team YWSDBG,
~Iggy

Hi there, niteowl again ^-^ Happy Review day and all of that good stuff.

I say this to everybody, probably have said this to you a few times, but feel free to ask me to review anything at any time ^-^ I genuinely don’t mind. I also help with editing, it’s sort of my forte, so if you’re ever uncertain about your work or have over read a piece, you can have me examine it and I’ll do my best to give advice and whatnot.

Anyhoo, this piece was little and nice. Very imaginative and creative. I don't have much advice, it's simply a sweet, nice little piece. I don't know what else to say really other than good job, keep writing, and ask if you need anymore reviews.
Catnip~

Hi there, niteowl! My name is Scarlett, and I'll be reviewing your poem this afternoon. ^^

Short and sweet, to the point. I like it. It has a distinctive quality to it, and I'm sure it's all niteowl. <3 Love it, and I'm not sure how we could improve this. Your flow is fine, your choice of words is lovely, and the imagery is fascinating. I think I'm just gonig to say; I dare you to take this and make it something more, something better. I feel it lacks a little, but that's okay. No one's perfect on their first try. Not that this is your first, but often first drafts are no where near the best you can do. So. I dare you. Make this better and let me know. I want to read a revision of this and go "Wow!"

And now, I don't think I have anything more to say. It's good and with a few little fiddles, it'll be better, but I like it so far, and that's a good thing. Sooo, that's it now. This is a wonderful little poem. Thanks for the beautiful poetry! I hope this review helps, somehow. ^^

Remember; keep it up and never stop writing!

~Scar. <3

Nice work.

Hello niteowl,

EnchantedPanda here to review for you!

Sheeeesh! This is crazy stuff! This is really, really good nite! It's incredible to read something this good, you've really captured something here. I love the vivid and visual descriptions that you've used. The vocabulary you've chosen really enriches this and makes it so more powerful and emotive for the reader. Pretty much everything about this screamed powerful and I am shocked that anyone can produce something so raw and amazing. I love the way that you've written this, it's completely oozing with character and it clearly has a lot of depth. The scene that you've created for the reader is just purely amazing. I can actually visualize this right before me which is a really good quality to have achieved in a poem. An accurate word to describe this would be impressive. I read this and my jaw literally dropped in envy of your amazing writing. Nice work! (;

And the imagery in this... Wow! Your adjectives and all of that... they're so good. This is one of those poems where you can actually see it in your mind and that's an incredible quality to have in a poem. Everything you describe is so original and the way that you've presented something is actively and unarguably brilliant. You've hit a perfect balance here with your topic being unusual and unique but not overly sadistic or creepily odd, a good balance between simple and overly and unnecessarily complicated language and your general writing tone is just perfect. You've pretty much nailed this.

If I was to choose my favorite part it would probably be the last part of your final stanza. It's conclusive and very rich in description and uniqueness.

you are clothed
in violet that screams
quantify me, if you dare.