“Hey Lacey, come and play.”
I spoke those few words that day.
She walks with such playful grace.
I won’t forget the smile on her face.
We ran around the playground.
I pushed her on the swing.
I’d sit and listen to the heavenly sound
Of when she’d start to sing.
“Hey Lacey, come to my house.”
Next year, her mom, quiet as a mouse,
Said she could come over.
She came to my party, her mom drove her.
After we ate, I’ll never forget when she kissed me.
It was on the cheek, but still I hid.
I’d never been kissed before, you see.
So I can’t forget the day she did.
“Hey Lacey, come hold my hand.”
Fourth grade, I wanted to land
In her heart now and forevermore.
We’d walked on the beach skipping rocks on the shore.
Hand-in-hand, with the Moon in her hair,
I couldn’t help but pull her close.
I guess I didn’t expect the kiss we’d share.
A long, inexperienced one, down on the coast.
“Hey Lacey, dance with me tonight.”
I’d asked her to the dance, quivering with fright.
It’s like prom for elementary school.
I knew she’d lied when she said I looked cool.
I just smiled at her anyway.
We danced and after, we talked for hours.
We discovered everything about each other that day.
We talked and laughed and smelled the flowers.
“Hey Lacey, I’m moving away...”
I couldn’t find the words to say.
We hugged for hours and we even kissed.
I can honestly say that ‘til then, I’d never been missed.
I thought it’d be the last I ever saw of her.
My thoughts began to jumble and mix.
I’d been so confused as my heart began to stir.
After all, I’d loved her since I was six.
“Hey Lacey, I’m back where I belong.”
I’m here to listen to your song.
I’ve been waiting forever to hear your voice.
I want you to sing of me being your choice.
Maybe not your first, but always your last,
Because you won’t be able to make any more.
I didn’t even get to say “goodbye” when you passed.
I hope you find Heaven and walk through that door.
“Hey Lacey, I remembered your birthday.”
There’s a bundle of flowers on your grave today.
You never liked flowers, but now that I’m here,
I’m told this is how I’m supposed to recuperate, my dear.
Flowers don’t numb this pain I feel,
But I’m hoping what I think is true:
As I place them in the grass and kneel,
I’ll never forget us, and I’ll always love you.
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140,222 Literary Works • 673,046 Reviews
Oh em gee. I am about to cry. This reminded me of a song called "Lucy" by Skillet. If you havent heard of it i suggest you listen to it. <3
Anywho, you were right when you told me your writing was sad. You got me there. I really really love this and i will definitely read more of your work.
If this is based on a true life event then i am so sorry for your loss. Y'all were kids but i know you loved her.
I love the way you wrote it, the flow is even and I loved the rhyme.
Sorry this isnt much, i am not good at reviewing poetry because im not good at it myself. Bravo on a job well done and touching my emotions.
On a side note... listen to Lucy by Skillet if you haven't!!!!
-Nicole
I was listening to Lucy when I made this, but it is a true story..
Well it is great!
I love the song Lucy so it was touching to read.
Hey Lucy, I remember your name. I left a dozen roses by your grave today
Im in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away.. <3
:'(
Okay, almost cried (probably cause I have an amazing boyfriend and I can't imagine losing him). Why did you have to make it so depressing! Nah, I'm just kidding. (Sorry I'm weird, tired, and a little ADD) I really loved the plot, and you truly got the feelers working overtime and that's a good thing. It's rare to find writers who can truly drive out emotions the way that your story did. Bravo! However, the rhyme seemed to go a little zig zag though. If done right, which is very hard, believe me, I've tried, and failed. Look up Shane Koyczak on youtube for examples of amazing "ziggity zaggity" (that's the only way I know how to describe it) poetry. However, I would get kinda lost in the poem every once in while trying to figure out what rhymed with what. I'm not being harsh, trust me, I do it ALL the time. You're definitely not the only one. But, once you find a flow to truly stick with, with the kind of emotions you're able to reach with these beautiful poems, you'll be dang near perfect. Thank you so much for the gorgeous story, and I wish you the best of luck. Can't wait to hear more!
AABBCDCD etc.
This is sooooooo sad!
Wow, Ghostie. (Is it okay if I call you Ghostie? The name sounds adorable
) It's, well, hard to admit this but this poem is making me cry honestly. I usually don't cry that easily but man, this hit me. Losing a close friend/lover, having to be separated, and then coming back to the discovery of their death.. I can only hope that I don't have to go through what the narrator goes through.
thank you for posting such a pulchritudinous work!!
Quick question: Is the narrator a girl, boy, or is it you? I see you've joined 2 months ago, but I haven't had the pleasure of becoming your friend. At first, I thought it was a girl telling the story (I sincerely hope I don't offend you, but are the two characters lesbians?) But then I thought, well a male narrator would work as well. This poem is a strong truth of reality, you said, so I figured it could also be you. (I hope that's not confusing haha).
Tip #1: Keep the rhyming lines consistent.
“Hey Lacey, come and play.”
I spoke those few words that day.
She walks with such playful grace.
I won’t forget the smile on her face.
Here, you have A A B B line structure. Lines 1 & 2 rhyme, so they're called A & A. Lines 3 & 4 rhyme, so they're called B & B.
Now look at this:
We ran around the playground.
I pushed her on the swing.
I’d sit and listen to the heavenly sound
Of when she’d start to sing.
You switched to A B A B line structure. Lines 1 & 3 rhyme, while lines 2 & 4 rhyme. If you keep the consistency of AABB or ABAB structure, it should flow more smoothly like a freshly spread layer of Nutella.
Tip #2: I went back to check for any punctuation or grammatical errors, and didn't see a thing wrong with that.
Tip #3: In all honesty, I LOVED how you told the story of a narrator recalling the story of his/her best friend, how they fell in love, how the narrator came back to visit only to find that their best friend was pushing up daisies. Depending on the different ways I view it, it can be a melancholy tale, a happy one, or just a collection of memories that the narrator will always have.
Tip #4: Earlier, I mentioned consistency, and that includes the use of "Hey Lacey,..." through the poem. That's a splendid strategy to use in building the overall concept of repetition, friendship, potential, loss, and acceptance.
Tip #5: pLEASE write more!! Especially ones like this, tugging at the heartstrings and evoking so much emotion in readers (well at least in me). Also, the title was cute and definitely made me think it was going to be something cute but it ended with a nicely written twist.
I'm off to try and write a short story idea that has been budding in my head for days. !Adios! Farewell! Please, please write more poems or lyrics or serenades like this or in the same style you used. I loved it so much!!!
Have a magnificent day!
Blue
Thank you. We can talk if you'd like.
Message me whenever. The rhyme scheme was intentionally meant to make you slow down and process is. This poem isn't meant to be sped through. I have nearly 40 poems, but nowhere near enough coins to post them all. That's why I haven't been able to keep posting. In any case, thank you for your kind words. I have many pulchritudinous works that have yet to leave my brain and enter the world of ink and paper. 
Also, ghostie is fine.