Young Writers Society

I loved this poem, and for amazingly short and sweet it was. So I'm going to write a really short review because there's not much to improve on.
This poem held my interest until the end, with your end rhymes intriguing me the entire way through. It was really easy to read, you had a simple, yet nice title, and you used excellent grammar. Be sure to write more like this, and do these things in this poem more often, because you did them well!

~Saruka

This is the most adorable thing every. Your girlfriend is so lucky. This is the sweetest thing I've ever seen. I originally clicked on this just to read it because the description in the green room caught my attention, but I did see a couple of things about it. Please keep in mind that poetry is my weakest. I suck very much at it, but I still hope I can help.

The first thing that I noticed was you did go with a rhyme scheme, and the pattern is A and B.

We go together like Apples and Cinnamon.
We try to hide this love like some sort of sin.

It’s our relationships. It’s just not right.

Hey Ghost! It's Quill, with a quick review here. I'm not the best poem writer, and I don't write it the most often, but I thought I'd share my perspective! I'm a little nitpicky, so we'll dive into that first!

This poem was very sweet. I'm sure your girlfriend loved it. I'm happy that you cared enough to write a beautiful poem for her. Of course, anything can always be better, right? And that's what we're here for! To get better!

To start off, a lot of the rhymes here felt forced -- namely, "Cinnamon" and "sin", and "impulsiveness" and "Christmas". (Especially "Cinnamon" and "sin".) If you're going to rhyme, watch out for it sounding like you're FORCING it to work. Also, the beat of the poem changed quite a bit. It started evening out towards the end, but in the beginning and middle I wasn't sure at what pace to read, so it ended up sounding, mentally, a little muddled.

Also, small nitpick -- neither "apples" nor "cinnamon" should be capitalized. This could be stylistic, but I'm still pointing it out.

The poem also felt like it lacked a central focus or drive. Most of the stanzas felt completely unconnected from one another. You go from talking about how nice your relationship is, to fighting, to saying that it's fate, to saying that you won't hide your feelings. It doesn't have anything that ties each of the lines together -- it felt, a bit, like unconnected thoughts about the same subject. There's no transition or segue into each new idea, and thus, it reads as if there is no connected idea here. Usually poems portray one side or one specific thing -- the love in a relationship, the arguments in a relationship, etc. By trying to tie all of these together without proper transitions, it reads as a bit confusing and, often times, random.

I don't mean to harp on you at all. I think this was a lovely poem. It definitely came from the heart, it was short and sweet, and if someone wrote me this poem, I'd be in love forever. Your emotion and care definitely comes through the lines. It's simply adorable.

Overall, this is a great poem with a TON of potential, if you choose to clean it up! If not, it's still lovely as is, and I'm sure it was absolutely adored.

Always keep writing!