Young Writers Society

Hello there. I hope to give a fair review even though a lot has already been said.

I like poems which follow a rhyme scheme or atleast rhyme. It gives a flow to the poem. In my opinion the first stanza was great. I felt that all went into flow and a clear sense was made. The use of 'period' was important in stanzas with repeating lines so that it remains in flow, but using it many a times is not a good idea. It brings a lot of pause, which is not good for a poem which rhymes so well. One more thing is about this line— 'You may not know it, but you have nothing to wait for'. It doesn't has a period at the end. Is it completed only with the other line? But the main problem is that it feels awkward and breaks the flow. About this line— 'In just one drop, you know that nobody can see.' It although agrees with the fourth line, but disagrees with a line said after the fourth line and but before this particular line, i.e., 'Remember that I can see.' And so doesn't feel right. Otherwise it's a good poem. Keep it up!

This is Kaos for a review!

In one teardrop, you lose your sense of self.

In one teardrop, your heart left me a key.

In one teardrop, you take that picture off the shelf.

In one teardrop, you don’t want anybody to see.

Hello there, Ghost223!

Moonwatcher here, trying to sharpen up his reviewing skills before Review Day! ^-^

Jumping into the review, the first thing I would like to bring up, is stanzas. Stanzas divide poems up, and make them easier to read, which in this case, I feel could benefit this poem if they were to be included. It could make the poem a lot less choppy, too.

Another thing I would like to point out is the use of rhyme and oh boy the amount of times i've brought this up before, is the use of rhyme. Well alright, there's subtle rhyme in the poem. The rhyming is your choice, but one thing I want to say is that not all poems have to rhyme. The rhyming, again, was your choice, but it seems to occur very often to people that poems have to rhyme, which they don't. My personal opinion on rhyme is that it is unnecessary, and although it may produce better flow throughout the poem, it can also constrict the use of the author's vocabulary, and limit the emotions and feelings that the author is trying to convey. Feel free to keep the rhyme, but I just thought it would be a good idea to let you know.

In one teardrop, you lose your sense of self.

In one teardrop, your heart left me a key.

In one teardrop, you take that picture off the shelf.

In one teardrop, you don’t want anybody to see.

You may not know it, but I cared for you.

You may not know it, but we fought the same war.

You may not know it, but our tears kept us true.

You may not know it, but you have nothing to wait for

Hey there! Here's a somewhat shorter review than I normally do but here we go;
In your first few lines you use 'Just a teardrop' but perhaps use 'Just a drop' seeing as it's the title just linking it back in there when you can is always healthy.

I really like this low key rhyming scheme it is very subtle in the way it rhymes and there isn't much of a metre that I could grasp upon anyway.

I love your Idea with teardrops and their representation, Positive and negative.
Grammar is 'on fleek' as the kids say now a days and I couldn't see any obvious errors on first glance which is always perferable.

I really like your idea it's almost a love poem of sorts and fits under the romantic genre. and I love how you seem to care for this individual unconditionally, you've both suffered the same trauma, same losses and you seem to be very close.

I would've liked to write more but I couldn't think of any other headings to write under, sorry D: