It’s not going to be okay.
I’m not okay.
Either I can keep up this façade
Or I can let everything loose.
I know you can see my depression seeping out little by little in
Anger.
Sadness.
Fear.
Every emotion is magnified ten times over.
That’s just the beginning.
Depression is not an emotion.
Sadness is an emotion.
You see,
Depression is an embodiment of the soul.
First it surrounds you, then it collapses in on you.
It targets you like a heat-seeking missile.
Depression fills you completely.
I know for a fact that depression is
Physical.
Tangible.
Material.
It’s not a gas because you can’t inhale depression,
And with the way it sways within you,
It can’t possibly be a solid.
Depression is a liquid
That takes shape of your body
As it fills every crack and crevasse.
It moves inside you,
Sloshing back and forth
Droning you onward through your day.
Its stagnant water pushes you over the edge of a cliff,
But leaves you suspended in the air like a cartoon
Until you’re ready to fall.
Too afraid to take the fatal final step,
You defy gravity,
Waiting for someone to just
Push.
You.
Down.
To your death.
At the end,
No one will ever notice your depression,
Because it evaporates
When you hit the bottom of the cliff.
Yes, depression is a liquid.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,804 Reviews
Raw sincerity is one of the scariest things in the world. You, my friend, have captured exactly that with this poem. How relatable this is, is scary. Being a writer myself, I know such work only comes in abundance from personal experience, hence I hope your liquid depression finds an outlet and in turn actual, airy contentment fills you up.
Hi there, ghost223! Niteowl here to review.
Overall, I like your metaphor for depression. Poems about emotion (depression especially) can get really cliche and uninteresting because they lend themselves to the same imagery over and over again. However, you managed to channel that into something different that I haven't seen before that feels stunningly accurate.
That said, I feel like this poem starts off kind of weak, but then gets stronger. The first few lines feel like you were warming up, since they're less interesting than when you get into the metaphor. I like the depression seeping idea, but most of the beginning could easily be cut and you wouldn't lose anything.
For a stronger beginning, I would start with something like "My depression seeps out little by little in anger, sadness, fear", then skip right to "It fills me completely". That way we get right to the good stuff without all the filler.
It's interesting that you say no one will notice the depression, but then you say it evaporates. Evaporation presents an interesting comparison because it's invisible and yet very important and quite noticeable. If you're outside on a muggy day, you feel that humidity from evaporated water. This presents an interesting comparison to what happens after a suicide. The loved ones may not have understood the person's pain, but they definitely feel the after effects. They find themselves wondering why, what happened, what could they have done to prevent it, in addition to all the normal sadness of grief. So in summary, I think the evaporation metaphor makes sense, but I disagree that that means it's not noticeable.
Overall, I really enjoyed the metaphors and imagery of this poem. Keep writing!
Thank you
Ummmm wow... Just whoa...This has made depression so much clearer to me. I myself have depression. And it is the most awful thing. And you're right, depression fills every part of you and there really is no way to stop it. It's also very hard for other people to understand. But you explained it so clearly, so truthfully too. My dear, you are courageous in putting yourself out there with this piece. The content was full and direct, and good. The imagery and words that you chose were absolutely perfect.It really touched my heart. Keep writing, my friend
Why would I ever stop writing?