reckless,
pumping away without a second thought
yet countless second chances.
flutter away, o’ seemingly desolate, o’ self-conjurer.
blinks of black and roars of red,
you confused coward.
flutter those eyes and shed your jewels.
let us witness the joy of realisation, even-though
joy
dies away with repetition, this loop of love surely
kills boredom...
revives lost hope and
surrendering souls.
cry for me, i crave your ache, cry and drain
your soul of the
weak.
then flutter again and spread your wings.
glide and ride these winds!
hold on to your decaying self, do not let go.
i need your essence intact. surf my waves!
let go yet hold on. cry your soul away.
flutter again only to tear apart.
let go… but hold on.
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140,462 Literary Works • 673,233 Reviews
I want to say few lines in my review .
Sad poem abouy a confused mind though. But very naturally explained. The words you choose are acurate according to the situation. The words which touched my soul...
" let go yet hold on. Cry your soul away."
Brilliant piece of penning . Hope to see mote of your works. Keep writing .
Blessings
Hello!
That was emotional. I mean, I read this out loud and it had so much feeling, I really loved it. I seemed a little sad, a little depressed, a lit bold, and a lot... I don't know, not mad or full of rage, but something like it. Reading this poem was a bit was like riding a roller coaster, I experience a lot of ups and downs.
The lack of capitalization really added to it, and I'm not sure why. Poetry is good because I don't have to pay too much attention to the grammar or punctuation used in them. But I see you did use punctuation, so I will talk about it.
Your punctuation was consistent and helped the flow of the poem. Your poem was a little choppy, but more like violent waves choppy then messed-up-the-flow choppy, I liked it.
I really liked this, you did a magnificent job writing it and it captured my attention from the first word to the last phrase.
Great Job and Keep on Writing
Eesh, that was not a good review, sorry!
Hey! I don't think this is necessarily a review. It's more like the thoughts and ideas I had about your lovely work: (in other words a short review xD )
I think that's the poet's emotion seeping through his work. So excellent job if that's the emotion that this poem is relying on.
~I like how you did not capitalize anything. The only issue I have with this with that your 'i's are not capitalized and that is just proper punctuation. If you look at non-capitalized poems their 'i's are still capitalized. It's not a big issue but it irked me a bit when reading.
~I read this out loud before I read it in my head and might I say that it sounds amazing when read out loud and it just rolls off the tongue. When reading the poem the words that came from my mouth seemed angry (perhaps harsh is the better word, I don't think 'angry' is the right word) and I was perfectly happy before reading this
That's all I got
This has definitely been one of my favorites of the year!
Alice