ummmm... yucky
Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.
Bonjour, Pickle, June here,
As I promised, I'm going to pick this poem apart to the bone. 
Ready, set, ...no? Oh, well.
The problem with this poem is that it is straining to tell us a story, and to be 100% honest, my goodness, I have no idea what story you're trying to tell.
"Satan! Push, you can do this, breath,"
Tongue slithering between boned lips to lick
Clean her fingers of the boy's velvet blood.
Soothing her moans with his crusty gulps,
Hey... well, all I can really say is wow.
You are right, this is an extremely controversial piece of work, but it is also pure genius.
I really like this poem, just for the fact that it is different and gives us a completely different outlook on everything.
You used some really good description which at some places made me think "is this too much?" but it's not. It needs to be descriptive... it's dark and interesting.
To improve you could re-read and maybe adjust the sentence structure in some areas. But it sort of works, so you're probably okay with leaving it as it is.
Children giggle as tears down their cheeks.
wow! wat a wonderful creative work! i like this. as u hv connected a mother's story in it, which is awesome! this work is spiritualistic plus trendy! i didn'y prefer reading such kind of works i want innovation, new tryments, new vocab, new original poetry, (doesn't matter how peculiar it is) and ur work met all the criteria of mine!
good ! nice work! friend!
Hey Wiz! Here to review 
Firstly, wow. Controversial much? 
Satan a girl and giving birth to Jesus? Now, I’m not going to argue with you about that, in fact I think this poem was really good! I really did like it and after the first read it had left me thinking. Your message obviously stands out the most in this poem, and it’s really the sort of thing that stays with you. Well done!
As for improvements, I’d say firstly I would’ve liked to have seen more interesting language. You definitely had varied language, but I didn’t really find it that interesting. Maybe you could take a look in a thesaurus to look up a *few* words (I know some people are against thesauruses though). If there was a bit more detail then I think that could really make this poem! Perhaps not on the specifics of giving birth, I’m not sure how many people would like to read that, but maybe something more about the baby? Or Satan themself- what do they look like? What’s their eyes like?
Another thing I’d like to mention is the layout of it. It seemed half way between a story and a poem. There weren’t many line breaks and use of enjambment, which made it seem less like a poem and more like prose. I also think having a unique layout can make a poem way more unique and original- and with such a controversial message, this would be really good! And, even though the layout wasn’t that great for me, I thought the pacing was really good and it had good rhythm!
Finally, I really wanna commend you for putting this up as it’s got a very strong message which I’m sure many won’t agree with. I’m not necessarily saying you’ll agree with it either, I have no views on the topic but some people may!
I hope this helped. PM me if you’d like another review!
Keep Writing!
-Arc x
Wow this is...something. I'll be honest I was timid to press on this piece, but I am glad I did.
What I liked:
1. The flow. I don't know exactly how you got this to flow so well, but you did.
2. The imagery. While graphic, and perhaps a tad gruesome, it was strong imagery none the less. The way you described the scene allowed the reader to put their own personal satan in your satan's place, while still maintaing the image of the scene before them.
3. The idea. I am religious, but I found this poem not to be offensive, but rather honest. The meaning I got out of it was that something pure can come from something so "devilish" and hell mongering. I liked the idea and I think you did well with it. I also enjoyed it's freashness and originality.
What I didn't like:
1. Some of the lines were unnessacry. When writing poetry I like to have not only every line, but every word mean something. There were a few here and there that could (but don't have to be) removed.
Overall:
Though some may review this with trepidation, those brave enough will most likely find a way to sing it's praises. There are things that can be fixed, but aren't nessacry to make this a very worthy poem. Great job and keep writing!
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