It has been a while since I have been on here because I have been working on getting my novel published, but this is a poem I wrote recently about some ridiculous things that have happened in my school.
What world do I live in now?
Friends are enemies
The ones I love have left.
Everything that I once knew has disappeared,
Consumed by the greed others have around me.
Taken by souls who have no courage
only a sickly cowardice that has grasped
my core.
Where I live
What I am
What I know is lost
trapped in another realm
a better place
that I cannot escape to.
I have been betrayed
and thrown aside
Burned and beaten
Buried alive by shades
I thought to be my kin.
Now what am I?
What do I have left?
What I loved most
stabbed me
And left me to bleed
out on the floor.
What my passion was
left me to die.
Now I wander alone,
lost in this world,
Angry
Enraged
Confused
Asking simply
Why?
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This is a strategically well-detailed poem. I like how you appeal to the emotions of an empathetic reader. The ending was G-R-E-A-T. A question always leaves an inquiry after you are done reading. Why do we find ourselves lost in this world sometimes? Maybe because we are deficient of a world fully ours. Very good elaborated indeed. Congratulations.
This is my favorite part of your poem, why? I believe that is has emotion to it, detail. I think the way you ended your poem was a great way. Simple, yet questioning. Lost in this world? Well aren't we all?
If you have any questions or comments feel free to PM me
-Soggy