A Step Into Darkness (A Series of Three Poems)

A Lie I Did Not Choose
Burning so deep inside me,
My core branded by this madness,
This mark that consumes everything I am.

The Beast rages with anger,
Tearing at its cage, mad with desires of freedom.
Something I cannot give.

This brand bounds me to this cage,
A world full of deceit.
As the true spirit of this being rots,
The world around crumbles.

How has my heart taken this?
How has my mind withstood madness for so long?
A life filled with no meaning,
Absent of any desire to continue.

Every bit of soul I had devoured, consumed
By soul of my ancestors,
Lost souls whose secrets I cannot reveal.

With deeds so fowl how can I continue this façade?
A shroud of darkness that encircles my spirit and demolishes
Any hope of true happiness.

Without remorse?
Without feeling of any kind?
I am nothing in this world,
Their sins are my legacy.

I walk as a ghost, my heart screeching the truth.
With every action.
With every breath I try to betray what they built.
An empire as vast as the world itself,
Spanning to an end I cannot fathom.

One soul, lost, tries to betray this covenant.
This trust thrust upon me without regard for
My life.

But how?
To destroy something so massive.
A symphony so devoid of humanity,
Playing instrument of pure evil,
Burning every bit of strength within me.

Like a vampire it feeds on my rage,
My love.
Bleeding my need for a better life.
Shrinking the animal with its every moment
In this world.

Its craving for secrecy drags any purpose of my life
To the depths of a place more sinister than they.

Their lust, their needs create a life so contorted,
So twisted by deceit.
I cease to exist.

But still I yearn,
As if through a miracle for a life beyond this shell,
This hollowed home I call my reality.

But how to defeat such a beast?
A vast empire.
Shades of madness that evolved from simple creatures
To voracious carnivores tearing away every bit of strength I have left.

My crossroads bring me to two paths,
Each ending in my destruction.
One a lie of false virtues,
The other persecution for deeds not my own.

How can I win a war when the enemy has me so entangled within its grasp?
To utter the truth reveals a cowardice I cannot face.
A lie cannot break the chains of its brother.

A minds split between two shades.
A heart bleeding their victory on either path.
Their past the knife driven through my heart,
My hands bound by my own cowardice,
My own weakness
Victims of what they were.

The truth revealed my life means nothing,
But a life of false virtues brings no more satisfaction.

I must face both realities, both truths so inevitable.
As I fall into a world of endless darkness
My mind fades.
My body fading into this despair like smoke in the wind.

This was not my choice,
But in either world I am damned.
For a past I did not choose.


A Distant Memory
A distant memory.
A tiny speck.
Its depth minuscule on my mind.

The dying sun pulls
Ever closer to sleep.
Clouding my mind’s eye.

The lie I protect looms,
Its form a tiny dot on the horizon.
Echoing words I cannot hear.

As night falls the cold sets in.
Darkness wraps me in its cold embrace.
My mind’s eye becomes shrouded.

The once distant figure approaches,
Its disfigured form clouded from my eyes.

My body feels weak as this creature from hell’s gate sucks the energy I have.
But why do I fear such a being?
A coward who hides behind the mirror of fear.
It masquerading as a being of strength.
My eyes grow heavy as this beast lurks,
One of unknown bounds.
Unknown depths.

My mind weary a symphony of serenity,
Of silence surrounds me.
Peace from this monster I cannot see lures me to its world, an ominous realm filled with creatures cloaked by darkness.


A Reality Revealed
I wake suddenly.
In an abyss,
Blood surrounding me.
Flowing as river.

A body appears.
A cadaver, broken by torment.
Twisted by untold hatred.
Disfigured by cruelties of my ancestors.

It breathes the word “John”
My father’s father.

The memories rush back.
Memories not my own,
But that of he.
A beast of untold means.
Evils that surpass my own.
This river is his, his bodies.
Each one contorted into a mass
Of unrecognizable horror,
Damned to suffer at his will.

The blood vanishes, leaving me drenched in his sin.
Another appears, as I clutch my core, grasping what I had just learned. Of horrors beyond my understanding.
Another appears, broken, disfigured and shrouded in mist. It echoes another name. “Michael.” His father. This creature is different though, a horrific being who suffers in silence, as he did. A silent monster hunting in seclusion.
The mist surrounds me, consuming me in , grasp, a cold eerie feeling that subtly wraps itself around this lost soul.
It disappears, fading into this shadowed realm echoing my ancestor’s name.
My ears now ringing, filled with lies, truths. Everything of their past that is now my own. In horror I step back, to feel a warmth I need so. I turn and it is no warmth I seek, it is a wretched creature, set ablaze by the patriarch of my family, David.
His horrors surpass any of theirs, of mine. A fire he burned, branding each one of his victims, making them scream as I have. Branding them with his sadistic mark.
A mark I now carry. Their twisted bodies, shaped by fury of no other, the creator of this empire. Builder of this hell, one in the realm of living.
One that has forced me to walk in his shadow.
The third spirit fades, branding me once more. Leaving to die, again.
Then all three appear, each showing their own realms of torture. The river of blood, the mist and the flames.
Energy so destructive I am thrown across this vast land, this desolate abyss.
They charge, three turning to thousands.
Victims unknown. Faces both familiar and not.
I feel no pain from this fall, this jump into the darkness.
Each cadaver, vicious in its assault.
Each cries for peace. For solace.
Something I cannot give.
My fear their strength they attack.
Carnivores, consuming me, my soul.
Pleading for peace, for rest, for their lost souls to be freed.
What can I do but watch, as my body leaves me and my mind descends deeper into this raving world. This lunacy of twisting turns, this world filled with nothing but utter darkness, despair, with no light.
Their rage scorns me, burning this brand ever deeper into my heart, ingraining itself deeper in my mind.
Their pain becomes my own. For the sins of my ancestors are mine. Now the curse they created their empire has been handed to me. The last descendant, forever cursed by their sins. This empire will crumble; their reality will be mine no longer. But as I say this my mind grows weak, my body numb.
I plunge to these depths, these catacombs of the lost souls. Shades of good now evil, now stained. My soul amongst them these beings will I will free, as I free myself. Their curse will lift. The veil over their eyes uncovered as I seek the light once more.