A place of bliss,
perfect serenity.
There is no mystery here.
I control this place.
A vicious realm
which I call my home.
Twisted bodies,
contorted into shapes
no man can bear the sight of.
There is no hope for any who enter this place.
I am its soul keeper,
and the soul tormentor of the shades
who enter my paradise.
Their pain is my joy.
Their cries for help,
bloodcurdling screeches,
amuse me.
My heart has become cold,
frozen beneath these blood drenched
walkways.
And this torturous home is one I call my own.
I am proud of what I have done,
destroying the lives of those who tortured me in life.
Beyond my grave I call them to this sanctuary,
every victim coming in stride.
They again scream, and plead.
There is no escape.
There is no mercy.
They chose to annihilate my being,
and now for eternity they are mine.
Their shades will suffer in eternal darkness.
Their bodies will feel the mutilation
I have.
Their bodies will become canvases for my
rage.
Each will be humiliated,
disfigured beyond recognition.
Their alienation of me was nothing compared to
their new prison here.
They will wish for death twice,
yet the sweet embrace of lifelessness
will never come.
The grinding of their flesh,
the crushing of their skulls
will never end.
Their inner destruction is now my only purpose,
and I will not stop until they all fall into
that eternal abyss I call my home.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,773 Reviews
First time I've ever reviewed a poem. (Partly because I can understand what you're saying here, so good job on that, but this also probably won't be much of a review.)
(/All hope abandon, ye who enter here) This was quoted once on Malcolm in the Middle and I was ecstatic.
"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here..."
Spoiler
Hmm, that said, I'm not sure how I feel about this line:
On one hand I like it as a nice little allusion. On the other hand, knowing the original so well, it sounds kind of off, you know? Can't decide what I make of it.
Overall, I like this! I've always wanted to read The Divine Comedy, and Paradise Lost for that matter as well. But I can never get myself to do so because it seems like such heavy reading - so props to you for actually reading it.
I got the idea from Dante's Inferno originally form several cantos within it. I wanted to create a poem inspired from that, only twisted to the person at its center has a paradise. It's an inversion of heaven.
Amazing. Every descriptive, and interesting. I really wanted to read the poem. A Twisted Paradise. Twisted for the inhabitinats. Paradise for whom?
Very nice. Only a few mistakes.
I really really liked it. How did you get the inspiration for this? Will others pay for what they've done? Hope you haven't been a bad person.
~UrWoRstNiGhtMarE
Thanks. Don't worry. If you want to you can write something negative if it is constructive. Thanks for your comment though. The only reason I wrote this is because of Dante's Inferno. I've been studying it a lot lately and I wanted to get a twisted poem out of it.
Dante... *Shivers.*
I'm slightly scared of writing anything negetive in this review XD
This whole poem is very dark, and yes, very twisted. For some reason that I can't really explain though, it was kind of enchanting. It all seems so genuinly written, which, I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing...
If anything were to improve, I would say cut out the first verse. It seems like a little too much of a calm opening to such a dark poem.
Umm, nice work? Maybe?
-Ten