Dread Father's greeting.
Dread Father's blessing.
We welcome you to our home.
Our ranks are secret,
sacred as we descend to darkness
As we willfully leave this world.
We are madness,
killers,using our skills for profit
and pleasure as shall you.
My friend, blood has spilled
my hand and yours.
We have cast ourselves away from society and we,
together form a bond
no others can have.
The law is after you,
and no one will keep
you safe save us.
You need us to survive
and we need you to thrive.
What we are is kin.
What you and I share
cannot be broken.
By taking a life you have signed
a timeless pact.
Remorse will fade,
and conscience will die.
You will become heartless.
You will become cold.
And light will lose your sight.
Blood lust will control you.
You will need it.
You will crave it.
Our love may be twisted,
and we may be monsters,
but what you seek is truth.
We are truth.
Our nature is that of the world.
The only difference we do not hide
what we are.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,774 Reviews
It's ashamed this starts out well then just drones and on and on and never really did what I expect it just could have gone many ways including descriptive scenes that really capture our imagination. Instead it just does opposite bores us silly and actually makes me sad. This is such a great topic and with promising start and you wasted it in favour of generic stanza and boring wording.
Let me explain you address certain ideas in stanza in similar fashion but after touching upon them, it's whoosh off to the next stanza, drop a few lines, then away we go. And trust me this does nothing but irritate the person, well in my case it just depressed me, I love anything to do with knights, and I should have loved this, but I can't, not like this, it's just drab and dull.
Overall, you have a great topic, actually exploit it, that's your main problem, don't go for boring go for exciting, go for what they really stood for!
Hope I helped.
Heyy
That's a very nice poem
I loved it! Keep writing!
-Truth-
Good