You.

hi there, i'm here for a review
first of aall i think that ur poem need some more Punctuation,i don't know it's just my opinion,and the ideas need to be more open.
anyway i liked some lies like:
"You never quite knew

How much I loved you,

And I know you cared.

But you never understood."
but this one:
We tried to pretend it never happened,

That it was never said.

But only I’ll ever know how much it hurts

When you leave my side."
like the first two lines doesn't match withe the second and third,ot the same i dea.
except this i really liked the poem,keep the hard work and thank you c:

Hi!
To start off I have to say that I'm a bit bothered by the formatting of the poem. Initially, I thought the first two lines were going to be enjambed. I expected more, but I didn't really get anything but five syllables in each line and it made it repetitive enough that I thought I'd read the same line twice. I like the idea in the first stanza, I just feel like you could find a different way or more elaborate way of saying it.

I love that the second stanza alludes to something horrible happening, but you don't state it. Usually, I want something concrete to hold onto as I'm reading (like an event or a specific memory) but it works well in this poem because it sort of seems like the speaker can't tell the reader what happened because it was just so bad.

I think the third stanza is pretty great because it gives a lot of insight into the speaker and the line "haven't stopped" sort of sheds some light on the state of the speaker's life. I also like how the poem expands here into the present and a more direct acknowledgement of the problem the speaker is facing.

In the fourth stanza, I think "well" doesn't need to be in the second line. I like that you put the speaker in a specific situation (outside in the rain) and that he/she is smoking again in that weather. I also think it was a great artistic choice to make "fucked" the only profanity in the entire poem because it gives it so much more resonance, although I do think if you ended the poem on that word it would give the poem a much more sound and profound conclusion.

One last suggestion I will make about the entire poem is that maybe you should apply a rhyme scheme. It would soften the way the poem is read and allow you to be more creative with your word choice.

Keep writing,

Dianne E.C.E.

Hey Weymouth, Laure here for a review! Wow, this is a really powerful and emotional poem, it had quite the impact. I don't know if I can actually nitpick this at all, so I'm going to start off with the things I liked about this poem. I found this really powerful, especially with the way you used the language. You didn't coat it in sugar of vagueness, which I really hate since I suck at interpreting deep poems. I just love the simple bluntness in this poem that actually invoke a lot of anger and pain to me, I can feel what our narrator is feeling. Is vivid and is sharp, is brilliant.

And this song almost has a lyrical feel to it, especially the last stanza, almost like a rap but a very melancholy rap.

Hmm, the only thing I could find was this.

We try to pretend it never happened,

When you were you and I was myself.

But that’s not us anymore, is it?