Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
There’s a hole in my head
Where I used to dream you up.
We’d run the whole world over.
Too young to give a fuck.
____________________
There’s a hole in my heart.
Where your words used to lie.
Now they bounce off my deadened ears,
And I struggle not to cry.
____________________
There’s a hole in my chest.
Where I carried you every day.
You ripped out my lungs,
And took my breath away.
_____________________
There’s a hole in my life.
Where I need you to be.
I miss your smile. Your laugh. Your love.
Please say you haven’t forgotten me.
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140,542 Literary Works • 673,414 Reviews
first of all
up rhymed with Fuck, CLAPP CLAPP Capp. Three Points to mister Weymouth for his choice of words.
Now that i have expanded the only humor found with in my brain, i will try and dig deep in to your poem. If i may.
Love is a strange thing, i the few encounters i have had with it. I have either been burned, slapped. Or slapped very hard (yes their is a difference). I say this because your poem evokes a in me a very vivid remembrance of one such lady i fell in love with, Five points . Now that the sobbing is done i will continue digging.
Having someone to wake up next to, that right their is fate. Having someone to wake up next to that you love, that right their mister Mouth is a privileged. O their i go again off on a tangent. Ten Points.
Now comes the part where i tell you something of relevance.
This was as powerful, so much so that i came close to actually shedding a tear. You take a subject that has the potential to fall on its face and become to painful to read, and just masterfully guide it through a triple axle side filp with the grace of a leaf. the end of eternity will not even take this down to the depths of obscurity. fifty points.
Now one thing that must be explained, i am not that great at explaining things when it comes to fiction writing, let alone when it comes to a poem.
So mister Weymouth, i thank you for enduring this poor excuse of a review.
All the Best
spense
This is possibly the best review i've ever read :') I think i'm a fan of the point system, i might keep score XD I'm really thankful that you even bothered taking the time to review this, and i'm glad that you liked it
Hey!
The title immediately drew me in, being a Passenger fan (it's the title of a song) >D
I think this is actually a great piece of poetry, love the rhyming scheme, it gives it a rhythm so it sounds almost like a song in your head.
I'd look at this line again:
Just because, for me, it feels like you wouldn't really say to dream 'up' a person in your head.
(But I understand it's hard to find words to put in poems without losing the rhythm.)
That's all I have to say!
Loved it!
Haha well I actually listened to that song before i wrote this, probably why I called it Holes
yeah, if there were anything else with the same meaning that i could put there, i would, but thats all i could think of :') I'm really happy you enjoyed it! 
short, but it didn't need to be loando be good; I actually think it's the perfect length, because it's short and concise and if it had been much longer it would have been too long. Also, I like the fact that it's even with four stanzas and four lines per stanza (I'm a sucker for patterns, if that's what you would want to call it). On a similar note, I like the A-B-C-B rhyming pattern. It gives it a certain melody without seeming too "bouncy." The repetition was what made this poem what it is, though. You used the same intro for each stanza, and that made it even in uniform, but you also used a different thing at the end of each which made it almost the equivalent of a topic sentence. Each of your stanzas was like a paragraph.
I really liked your word choice too. Your words were all short and simple, and your phrasing all made sense.
The content itself was powerful and meaningful and somber. The tone is passionate and bitter, and everything you did style-wise reflected that.
I think the poem would have been better if you had stylized it more, but that's a personal preference of mine. You could have done somethig creatively with the grammar and capitalization, but it's also good without it (like I said, I just like poems like that). I think. The periods at the end were unnecessary, though.
Overall, I really loved you poem.
Thanks so much! The periods are just a way of keeping it in stanzas, if i don't put something there, then it just makes it one long paragraph. I've replaced them with lines, but I don't know how to spread it into stanzas without doing something like that. What do you mean by stylised it?
When I write poetry I usually styilize it by playing around with grammar rules and spacing and stuff like that, like how EE Cummings wrote. I prefer writing poetry like that, but I do like your poem the way it is. Messsing with the rules of grammar is just a way of changing it around to help the way a person interprets it.
Ahh, I hit the submit button too soon.
Hi!
I really liked this piece. I enjoyed the stanzas because it broke up each thought. I do agree though that the periods at the end of each stanza is unneeded, since the end of each idea is already signified by the break in the group of lines, the period is superfluous.
My one other critique is the line:
"Where I need you to be."
Might I suggest the "need" become past tense? I just noticed how the rest of the poem seems past tense, and abruptly switching to present tense disrupts the flow of the poem.
Other than that, great work!
Thanks
yeah it was originally 'needed' but I changed it right before i published it, I wasn't really sure about it. I think i'll just change it back 
I love this. It thoroughly explains how you feel hollow inside because of a heartbreak, I think? I think it was a heartbreak. I loved the repetition of the word 'hole'. You made it work real well with the rest of the poem.
One thing that bothered me though was how you broke up each stanza. I feel like you should take out the '.' and it will look so much more professional. Other than that, your poem is excellent!
My stamp of approval has been given to you. Kudos! You have talent. Use it well, my young padawan.
FANTABULOUS job!
Thank you so much! Glad you liked it!