It’s an oddity how long it takes.
It’s in between the worst-possible-time snow-ins,
The passing of loved ones,
Orphaned children on the commercials,
Puppies with no one to love them,
Rush hour traffic,
Impossible term papers,
Tests intended to fail,
And nosey in-laws.
It’s found in building a snowman,
The birth of a child,
Giving just one child a Christmas,
Saving the doggy in the window,
A fifteen minute commute,
Accomplishing important papers,
Passing do-or-die tests,
And Thanksgiving dinners with the whole family.
It may take awhile, but eventually it comes:
The realization that everything
Doesn’t have to be perfect
To be happy.
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Canary word: Present
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140,596 Literary Works • 673,545 Reviews
Hello!
This poem is very beautiful; the themes of it are absolutely lovely, and the point you're making about finding joy and happiness in the smallest of things is fantastic. The range of things you've listed here makes the poem more universal and relatable to nearly everyone. In addition, the title of the poem is so incredibly beautiful, and it's a sort of phrase that tucks itself into your brain and won't leave.
This ending is so very beautiful - I realise I keep saying that word, but it's true. Your writing style in this poem is very casual, and it almost feels as though the reader is being spoken to.
While I don't have any critiques, I do have a suggestion if you wanted to do something more with this poem. This is the sort of piece that would benefit immensely from having a funky formatting - scattering the lists of words across the page, or weaving them into an image of a snowy day, something like that. Not really a critique, but it would be cool.
Overall, this poem is lovely and so very uplifting. To me, it's always so much easier to write poetry about the bad things rather than the good. This piece is beautiful, and an inspiration to carry on for those little things one can find joy in.
Keep writing!
Wayward
Upon first reading, I thought this is a Christmas card. Sweet, mainly visual, but a little too flat and papery to devour. But really then that's what this poem is rebelling against, the cynicism, the self absorption of worldly despair.
Really this is a naive but tender plea to the everyperson, and as that I think it works.
I think you could cut this down though, the stress/reward thing get a little tired after so many examples. But your heart is true, and your earnest tone is quite charming. An genuine ingenue of a verse.
Right now it just looks like a grocery lists of "things you can do to make Christmas good for others." Which is probably not a good thing. Throw out some of your ideas and develop your strongest images. Then it'll be much better. ^_^
Meg,
Consider:
Cutting L6-L9 and L12-16.
What I would like to see, personally, is if you would actually drop all but the images of giving birth to a child and sitting down with your family for Thanksgiving dinner--perhaps you could weave in the other ideas (the loss of loved ones momentarily suspended like a chandelier above the table, etc.) as you wish--but I think those two images would be a good starting place for a rewrite.
Best,
Brad