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140,596 Literary Works • 673,545 Reviews
Your poem spoke to me.
You have a very distinctive voice, in this one at least (don't know about the others, but will gladly follow your work from now on), that makes the poem feel personal. You succeed in putting your feelings into words, not with delicacy but with strength. Perhaps it can all be summarize in this line "A gap the size of Texas, /then Colorado, / then Ohio, / then a horse." - I do not know what it means per say but I can understand what it feels like. You have a very intricate use of images that is balanced and I love this (a bit jealous not going to lie!).
Your choice of words makes the poem flow very easily. It rolls on the tongue as well as in the mind!
Is it a reference to the movie everything everywhere all at once at the end? Or is it perhaps just a sentence you liked?
One point, maybe interchange the sentence with stars and ship at the begining so you can avoid repeating ship by using "mine" ? I am a bit picky about repetitions, sorry!
In any ways, loved your poem, excited to see what else you come up with.
Hi Via!
So, I’m betting on you had a different interpretation then what I had after reading. This poetry’s descriptions screamed 9/11, tragedy which happens at the US’s Assembly and the Twin Towers. It was a flash of memories about that day when I was at my job, watching in bewilderment on a TV screen, and your poem bout those memories forth. That’s it to say it’s a bad thing, just remind me how powerful your word choices were.