You shouldn't have called.
I can make it without you.
I don't need you.
I don't want you.
You're a crutch;
That helpful third wheel.
But I can ride on two;
I need to ride on two.
The egg has been shed.
I've crawled from the sand.
Now the tide is coming in--
Let it take me.
I am selfish.
I need this, for me.
You need to know.
I just wish I could tell you.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,596 Literary Works • 673,545 Reviews
Haha yea, I tried really hard to describe it where you all would understand it but at the same time be descrete...I suppose then didn't work out to well. It might be better if I actually understood it......lol.
i rather like it -- a nice little diddy, even if you didn't mean it quite that way. But you can do more. So much more! And I can't be more helpful than to second Bubbles's comments. Nice imagery, but the readers don't grasp the meaning. Draw us in!
But "helpful third wheel"? That's one I've never head before. It be awesome.
it sounds more like a blues song than a poem!
Forgive me, I'm grumpy this morning. But I have to say I kind of ... dont get it. This sounds basically like a recitation of your thoughts - and while that is, to an extent, a good thing, there is no context for the reader to understand and no emotion for us to really get into. I like the turtle thing. Or is it tortoise? I always get those confused. Anyway, that was nice imagery. Perhaps you could expand on that a bit? As it is, the reader is entirely divorced from the meaning of the poem. It's like ... an inside joke, you know? So yeah. Try to bring us in a bit more