Young Writers Society

Hi! Kz here for a long-ish, (Positive) impression/initial thoughts.

Wow! This was incredible! Very beautifully written.

So here's how I go. I'm going to quote two lines from your poem, and then in parenthesis, I am going to explain my feedback/impressions/initial thoughts. And remember, I am a criminology major, not an english/poetic major, and I probably have nothing useful to say, but read on if you'd just like some thoughts.

"They stand beside each other on the beach–" (Could it be a romance?)

"fire exploding from the collection of disaster
piled before them on the black sand." (Okay. . . Romantic tragedy perhaps. . .)

Below I mention what caught my eye:

"in the presence of everything their life has been

to this point,

to see which way fate will go."

This particular (stanza?) catches my eye because it makes me think of the meaning of life, a concept that has always interested me. Why do we live? this is interesting to me, because I know what the necessities of life are, and how to sustain it (Water, sunlight, weight), but what does it mean to LIVE?

Another comment:
"They have the same nose, the same eyebrows-

the same tired soul that's barely recognizable."

The last line was a *heart stopper*.

(SORRY I KNOW THIS WAS LOOOOONG)
Conclusion:
Amazingly well written, and decidedly relatable. This made me realise a lot of things.

If you made it all the way to the end, Have a good morning/mid-day/afternoon/evening/night, to whichever point in time you find yourself.

Hi Sunflower here for a quick (and very excited) review!

Wow! Honestly my whole review could probably be summed up at that one word, but I really just have babble on about how much I adored this piece!

So poetry is one of those things that I am extremely picky about, but this! This was amazing. From the first line you had me hooked wanting more and continuing to do so with every single line, even after the last line I still want more because it's just so brilliant! But out of the whole poem there is one line that really stabbed at my soul:

"it's impossible to tell how these people

are so free, or what makes them smile,

or what makes them

people at all,"

That part genuinely sent chills down my arms and spine, it just made everything in this poem feel so real and so fantastical all at the same time which is exactly what I wanted when I started reading. The flow of this poem is also quite good which is an issue I tend to find in pieces like this, if things aren't balanced properly it can almost manage to make the poem feel thick (if that makes any sense at all). But you came to a nice balance perfectly, and I applaud you for that!

In conclusion I think this was brilliant and I really love your writing style! Having said that I hope you have a great day/night, and keep on writing! Bye!