z
  • Home

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

I Never Asked You to Come

by Via


I didn't ask you to come.

I said I was fine, I could handle it.
I've never run a marathon before,
but I was confident I could
without anyone else.

I didn't ask you to come.

You said you were a good runner,
you had lots of experience.
You said it would be hard
to do alone.

Still, I didn't ask you to come.

I made it through the first 5 miles
without even a cramp.
I was exhausted, but there were
21 more to go, so on I went.
At mile 8 you were on the sidelines--

I didn't ask you to come.

I cramped at 10, I almost gave up.
You were at 12, reminding me I couldn't.
I pulled myself up off the ground,
drank some water,
and went on.

I didn't ask you to come.

At 15 you were there again,
holding a stupid sign and yelling.
Cheering.
And I smiled.

I didn't ask you to come.

At 18 I looked for you,
and you were there,
and we both smiled.
You tossed me a water and I ran on.

I didn't ask you to come.

At 22 my legs started to give out.
I was crumbling with every step.
But you were there, reminding me--
the end is so close, keep going.

I didn't ask you to come.

I crossed the finish line.
I had never run a marathon before.
My entire body collapsed,
unable to operate,
pushed beyond it's limits.

But I made it.

I lay on the cool cement,
my shoulder blades pushing into
the black crevices beneath.
Other runners flew by and met with
their people.

You looked at me and went home.
You never came back.
I never ask you to come.
And you didn't stay.

It took me awhile, but I got myself up.
I made it.
It hurt, but I survived it.

I've run a marathon now.
I know what to expect.
From me,

And from you.


Is this a review?


  

Comments


User avatar
190 Reviews

Points: 17074
Reviews: 190

Donate
Mon Sep 04, 2023 4:00 pm
Kaia wrote a review...



Hello, Via!
Here to comment on a lovely poem. :)

At first I kind of thought this was a metaphorical marathon in which every mile represents another year. But, then I realized that the numbers don't really have much significance other than to show that time is passing and the runner is getting closer to the end of the race.

I do think the entire thing is a metaphor for a romance, maybe? Where the runner is trying to be all alone and do things him/herself, but this other interested party keeps following him or her and helping him or her along. I especially love when the other runner throws a water bottle to the first runner. That was cute. And the two begin to acknowledge each other, but then the encourager is gone. He/she was only there for the term of the marathon. And now that that's over, both must go back to living their lives. It's like the saying that people quote from somewhere about life being like a book in which there are chapters. This marathon appears to have taken place in a chapter of this person's book. Now the chapter is over, and we've lost some characters.

Overall, beautifully done. There is no real rhyme or rhythm, but it does well without.

Enjoyed the read!
-Kaia




User avatar
7 Reviews

Points: 54
Reviews: 7

Donate
Wed Aug 23, 2023 4:05 pm
CassieList wrote a review...



Hey LP here! I really loved this poem. The constant flow and the way you articulate your words. The message behind is is powerful. I interpreted it as someone coming into your life while you are struggling even though he didn't ask them to. They stayed with you but once you were actually doing well they were gone. You didn't ask them to come but you are glad they did. I am really wowed and hope to read more form you soon.

-LP





There is nothing to fear from someone who shouts.
— Chinua Achebe, Things Fall Apart