Hello Hello, I hope you dont mind me popping in a quick review. Overall, I do find this to be a very compelling piece. However, I do feel since this possibly hints to some dark themes perhaps you should add some trigger warnings to let other readers know. If I am misinterpreting the themes then my apologies and you by no means have to listen.
Now as for the work itself, I enjoyed the message and a lot of the prose. To me, the whole bit about the dress stands out as both hauntingly grim and beautiful. I also deeply enjoyed the detail put into the hands as it sets up the feeling of someone looking back at their more naive self.
With that being said I do feel there is one line that could be somewhat tweaked. " slams into the pool in a gush of white. "Although there is nothing wrong with it the use of both in and into with not much between it feels a bit awkward to me. You could mess around but the quick fix I came up with is something like" slams into the pool with a gush of white."
Regardless, keep writing, drink water and good luck in life!
Points: 21624
Reviews: 186
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