Young Writers Society

Hey Via! I haven't reviewed in forever so I'm sorry if this isn't the best. I've sort of forgotten how to do this :b

I really like the imagery of being stuck in a room with a bubble and being squished into a corner. It's super interesting and I've never seen it used before.

However, I feel as though I've missed the topic of this poem. It begins with the narrator viewing her reflection of herself and commenting that her reflection doesn't speak. At that point I was wondering if this poem would be about self image but I didn't see anything else in the poem that pointed towards that topic. The mirror part doesn't match the bubble part and that left me confused and made the poem seem in-cohesive. I didn't understand what is meant by the narrator being stolen. I think I am most confused about vagueness of the what everything in the poem represents. I've been trying to decipher the meaning but everything I have thought up doesn't match up with other parts of the poem. This vagueness can be a really great thing in poetry however I feel as if the meaning of your poem is too hidden.

From what I can gather, I think this poem is about someone who is forced into something and is slowly being suffocated by that thing until they are finally able to break free. However, in the end they are left with nothing except the remains of what they once had.

I feel as if this piece would benefit from some more clarification of the topic and cohesiveness in the elements (for example the mirror and the bubble, I don't see how those two things connect). That being said, I think the emotion in this piece in strong and your imagery is really interesting and well-written.

I hope you found this review helpful. You're my first review since Sept. 2018 (dang, it's been awhile) so I'm really rusty. I hope you can forgive me if I've made any mistakes.

Charm

Dear Via,
WOW! This is an amazing poem, and I really felt the girl's despair and longing for something different. I love the analogy to a bubble filling the room, but I think that it would be slower, forming over time, not while she was just standing there.
In stanza 6, you say that it's
"leaving marks of
grief
guilt
shame."
It feels very broken up to me, and although that may be the way you meant it to come across, it actually breaks up the smoothness of how the poem looks (it doesn't affect how it reads nearly as much). I think that if you moved grief up onto the same line as "leaving marks of," it would help a lot.
(I don't know if that makes any sense)
Other than those two little things, I loved your poem and I'm curious to see where you go with it!
Sincerely,
Ghost_Pianist

well,this poem is speaking volumes. The hopelessness of the speaker attracts me to this writing given the complexity of the dilemma she is facing. Torn between getting out and then the emptiness after getting out is so relatable . I love this poem and I definitely love the flow, I feel the speaker's distress in un certainity and at the same time the need to keep what ever she has however damaging because it is all she hers. I really felt this poem and it spoke to me . This is very very good. bravissimo