His fingers tangled into mine
The lights from the ceiling shinning
And his smile lighting up my world.
In this moment I knew,
We were going to kiss.
I felt his hand tighten slightly
And then a soft hand against my cheek.
This is how it was going to begin.
I stopped breathing the moment he lent in.
This was actually going to happen.
Millions of thoughts raced through my head
"What if I have bad breath?"
"What if I mess up?"
"What will my mother think?"
He was nearing closer and I paniced
I looked down at his feet and spotted a pencil.
Bingo,
This was my escape.
I bent down,
Picked up the yellow pencil,
And said,
"I found it!"
I had ruined my first kiss with nervousity.
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140,216 Literary Works • 673,044 Reviews
This is really nice and super true! I know everyone goes through this in a point in their life. Anyone can relate to this poem. This has a a meaning behind it, most likely it is trying to say that whenever you are trying to do something knew you start to doubt yourself and get nervous because you don't know how to deal with the situation. In this case getting your first kiss was nerve racking so you took the easy way out by playing it off really cool. This poem can make anyones day by laugh just by stating true facts. Love this!! Keep up the good work.
Hello, rhia here to review.
This is really cute, and so true. You do have a few spelling errors though, which I will point out to you.
"The lights from the ceiling *shinning"
*Shining
"I stopped breathing the moment he *lent in.
This was actually going to happen."
*leaned
"He was nearing closer and I *paniced
I looked down at his feet and spotted a pencil."
*panicked
"I had ruined my first kiss with *nervousity."
*nervousity isn't a word. Should either be "nerves" or "nervousness". Both would work.
The rest is good to go.
Hi Tiny! This is a really cute poem, I know I've felt those first kiss jitters before and can definitely relate to this. There's just a couple spelling/grammar mistakes I want to point out to you:
"lent in" should be "leaned in"
"I paniced" should be "I panicked"
"Bingo," should be "Bingo;"
"nervousity" should be "nervousness"
Other than those minor mistakes, this was a really enjoyable read! You definitely captured how nerve-wrecking it is to be kissed the first time, and oftentimes, a yellow pencil on the ground is the perfect escape because you can't rush things like first kisses. I loved it.
Keep on writing, you have great potential!