Young Writers Society

Nice style of presentation.
One could resonate with the feelings behind each line.
Nicely put.
The part of agony experienced is written beautifully.
Hope happy ending finds it way somehow to the story.
Keep writing.
All the best.

Wow, this is a very deep poem. I can sure tell you put a lot of thought into it. I like how you worded everything, it really gave the poem emotion. I only saw one mistake and im not sure if it even was a mistake. "Why can't be accepted?" There should be an I between can't and be. I didn't see spelling errors, that's very good. Your punctuation was good. I think you did an awesome job! My overall score is 8/10. Keep up the great writing! Corgisrock22

I get it. you don't feel excepted. I go through that everyday( for different reasons,) and I have people ( mostly ex friends) who don't understand I get moody, or different, or just am having a bad day and they take it the wrong way and I just feel like a pile of crap, and they treat me like it. But you seem to have someone you love who, you think, deserves something better, a "Happy Ending" as you called it. but nobody gets that. as a writer im sure you get that. anyway, tell me more about "she". How did this story happen? when? why? explain!

Thank You! ISABELL

I the way this poem Stared Out. To be Clear I got the Vision of To gay girl. If it is the well, i dont judge. I love the way when you said once you showed your true colors, thats when they cant accpet it. I understand in this poem you feel Hatered and Abuse(Emotional).

"Why can't I love her?

Why can't I be me?

Why does my family not talk to me anymore?

Why can't be accepted?"
Yes, made me think Gay. And i understand things and sometimes people wont accpect the fact that its there. Sometimes like I i just think its a Phase to being gay but who am i to jugde. I understand if some one is transgender or like have a girl mind in a boy's body but God can help change that. I know its hard because the was this one Girl i swear she was the prettiest in the world to me. But i knew i was Gay, so i asked God to Help me and he did. And i Dont think, well i know killing yourself would not help the problem only make it worse. Drinking bleach and stuff. Who cares if your family doesnt talk to you. Prove them wrong, do what you have to do in life. Because God Has no Limit. He Put you in this world for a reason so stay. but i love this poem because i can relate and my friends can to. and i think more people should read this. But theres nothing else that i really see. And I dont know if you belive in GOD but if you dont my appoligzeeeesss !