Young Writers Society

Hi!

Ok so I loved this poem. Like seriously loved it. I love how you're writing about something you see around you, which is the writing on the bathroom stalls. I love how you took these words and made them feel like something more than just words.

Part of the reason why I loved this poem, is because I went through a dark time, as well. I was lucky enough to have someone say these exact words to me, things like "Stay strong" and "You're Okay" and "I am proud of you" and I will forever hold them in a very special part of my heart.

The poem seemed to have a nice progression to it as well, a symbol of things getting better for you. I hope you continue to write such emotional and well thought out pieces, because there are so many people who need this shared with them.

-E

*freaks out*
I LOVED THIS
RoyalHighness has arrived to review!
The beginning was my only problem. I've read so many poems about depression, I kind of sighed when I read the beginning, like, "Oh, no, not again." It's a lot to ask to change the /entire/ beginning of your masterpiece, so I won't do that. I'd just re-word a few things...make it your own, rather than like words from a can.
I like the second stanza and all the stanzas after because I began to realize there was no catch to this poem; it really /was/ about getting better, rather than about getting better only to relapse or pretending to get better so people will stop bugging you or something like that. (Again, I've read a /lot/ of poems about depression).
I like that your poem is /different/ from the others in that regard. And I LOVE THE LAST SENTENCE BECAUSE IT'S JUST SO PERFECT AND WITTY AND GAH
Great job!
Nine stars of ten, my friend. Fantastic!

Okay update on this poem. Yes it was based off of words written in the bathroom stalls and I was sad to find that it had been painted over this morning. Seriously the janitors need to just stop.

Lol at the last two lines. This poem has a meaning that I really like. The only thing that I'm going to be nit-picky about is that:

'The scribbles across the flyer have given me pride.'

the flyer part doesn't really work with me because the title of the poem is about words on walls not on other pieces of paper.

But otherwise very, very nice poem.

8.5/10 stars from me! Keep up the good work!

I really liked it short, sweet and to the point.... except at the same time it's deep. It just makes your heart soar..... really great.

:O THAT IS BRILLIANT I WILL TOTALLY DO THAT NOW!!!!!!!
Thanks. <3

I really love this poem, I can really relate to it and I think it's always a good thing if you can get your readers to be able to relate to your work! I have a few nitpicks/spelling errors that I'd like to point out:

'Revealing the shinning skin that is underneath the pain.' <-It should be 'shining' rather than 'shinning'

As much as I love this poem, I think that there could be a little more... oomph to it? Although hope, encouragement and pride are feelings that are stated in the poem, I can't quite /feel/ any of these strong emotions that are mentioned. Now if you could portray that through your writing then it would turn a great poem into a spectacular poem.

Keep it up, I like your style and I love the theme; just a few tweaks and this could be absolutely wonderful! It was a delight to read, keep writing,

-Crim