Young Writers Society

Hey TJSD, Shauzer here reviewing
I liked this haiku, but I don't really understand why you said 'Only hearts are lost.'? There's nothing from the last line to lead onto this, and I think that it would be a million times better if there was. It was still good It gave me a sense that you are capable of deep though, believe me some people aren't :') I enjoyed it, it was short and sweet, and it made you think. It was a representation of what haikus should be like. Well done, I liked it. And I don't usually like haikus so kudos I, like the one before me, wish you added some punctuation on the second line but I don't really care about that. Just a small mistake, and I'd like to know where the last line came out of. Other than that it was great
Keep writing, I'd love to review some of your longer stuff when I get time so I can give a proper review. And by the way, I agree that lies CAN be good, if that's what you're saying. Nice choice of topic, lies, infinite possibilties. Smart idea I'll try to review some of your longer works when I get more time, I'm doing this during classtime :')
Yours in ink,
TS.

This is very well written and promotes a clear message. I like the use of antithesis in your poem but I believe your poem would be strong if you included another word other than "heart". Now I am no poem but I think that a "heart" means something different to everyone. Just a suggestion that you don't need to take. Its beautifully written anyhow. Great poem!

This is interesting and definitely original. You wrote the haiku perfectly but some things are confusing to me. When you say "Lies are my best friend,

They give me safety and warmth"
- it makes sense and I love that!

"Only hearts are lost."
- what does this mean? I'm just a little confused. You had me really going there for the first two lines but then what happened? It's like a bump in the road! Well, I might not be super poetic but it's still a tough line. Other than that, everything was perfect and great.

Awesome work and I hope to see more of your work!
-sunshine 101

I liked the idea for this, though I don't necessarily support the message! I haven't seen a haiku on this topic. I liked that it followed the traditional haiku format. I did not see any grammatical errors, and I thought it was pretty good! However, I did see that in the second line, I would have added some punctuation to the end. I thought it was pretty good other than that!

Good job!

I liked the idea for this, though I don't necessarily support the message! I haven't seen a haiku on this topic. I liked that it followed the traditional haiku format. I did not see any grammatical errors, and I thought it was pretty good!

Good job!