Red ropes rising,
A light in the sky.
Indigo river cruising,
No one knows why.
Blue river flowing,
Orange fire glowing,
Which way is it going?
Only the RAINBOW knows.
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139,453 Literary Works • 672,565 Reviews
I liked this. It flows well I think and the imagary it great.
I like the rhyming and also, according to the title it is accoustic. I felt that. I did. And it's good. =]
Maybe you could add just a little more, add some more information into it for the reader. Other than that, it's perfect.
Keep writing =]
I liked the first line but I think you should change line 4. It was cute and imaginative.
I adore it!
Charlotte
Emm it just seemed a little childish and lacked a lot of imagination.
Lines 4 and 7 were really weak...It is the type of thing I think you would write when you are aobout 7 or 8.
It was okishly written but I don't know it has been done a million times before...
^why not put both? It's still honest constructive criticism either way. It's not like this is a gallery, where we all come to show off. We come here for help with writing, and hopefully that's what we're gonna get,
Someone said that you should put your best on here - not your worst. Sure, do a rewrite if you think it needs it.
Thanks for the comments and yes, it is childish, but there's a reason for that - I wrote it three years ago. I was just sifting through my old English anthology, searching for a well known acrostic poem to use as an example for my new competition when I found this scribbled in a blank space. I'll probably do a re-write at some point...
S'cute. S'nice.
Nuff zed.
Nix itayall.
I like the last line, and the rhyming (ryhming - swell!) went nicely. Listen to the Vogon that it's a good poem.
The first bit had a pleasent rhythem going, then it got a little lost when you got to orange. Although "fire" has only two syllabals, it seems to take a while to say. Is there a shorter word you could use there? (maybe "is" or something; you don't always have to project the colour if you don't want to) Same in the indigo line, come to think of it.
Separating the last line and putting "rainbow" in all caps seems a little too obvious. I know it's an acrostic poem, so maybe you could indent that one to show that it's different, but just because it's an acrostic doesn't mean you have to state as such. I think you should keep it, however; I think it adds a nice closing rhythmically.
Other than that, it's a nice acrostic poem.
The last line seems kind of useless.
The poem is cute for imagery, but a little childish and nothing beyond that. Not really a poem, IMO, although it does have the style you were going for. But other than that, there isn't much to it.
Hey Kit. The first three lines are great. I think the fourth is a little weak. I'm not sure about using "river" for blue, as you've already used it for indigo, which was interesting, as it was actually a nice change from blue, which would have been the obvious one. Using "fire" for orange was a little typical too, but I kind of like this one, I enjoyed the use of the word "glowing" for some reason. Your rhyming scheme is interesting, and spot on. I don't like the last line though, I think it's a little unnecessary as it doesn't really add anything new, and it breaks from the word. I think it might work better if you omitted it, especially as then you'd have seven lines, like the seven colors in the rainbow.Overall it's nice and cheery.