Do not mistake my sarcastic sighs
For real mistrust behind my wandering eyes.
My armor just protects against the cold.
~
Where hate roams free as lovers’ lies
And cruelty rages, despite our cries,
I cannot let my hard heart fold.
~
Wars tear the earth in judgment’s guise
And somewhere, a quiet, quaking love dies.
This armor protects against the cold.
~
Words fly before they can be chastised
Any hold on sense slips, and fruitless are our tries.
I will not let my hard heart fold.
~
Fists are thrown toward the sad grey skies.
Hands stand above heads, asking justice to arise.
My armor? It protects against the cold.
~
Heartache knows no heart that is wise;
My brain and heart know no compromise.
Sometimes I wish my hard heart would fold.
~
The sun of your love takes me by surprise.
Guns fall, walls cease, and hate hides.
You’ve made my heart soft and quick to fold—
Perhaps it was the armor that was cold.
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
This has been a very long review day for me and it just started . Go Team WHY?
I LOVED the last stanza that was just so perfect and how every stanza ended in cold or fold, truly brilliant. in Latin amo means love so amo amor armor , ah so interesting why didn't I think of it before ! I also liked how the girl was very hard and unwilling and then in the end she found her happiness " heartache knows no heart that is wise" was probably my favorite line 
This is the best poem I have read all day
Sorry it's such a short review,
~Kat
Hello, I'm Olga and I found your work to review.
First of all, I'm in love with the theme of the poem. Personally I love comparing love and fights, all these arming things, so each line was read with a greater feeling.
Also I noticed the rhythm AAB AAB,such an interesting solution, I've even created a melody in my mind and sung your poem along it. The repeating lines only proved that it could be a nice song. Moreover, it surprised me how you found so many appropriate rhyming words and forms.
"You’ve made my heart soft and quick to fold—
Perhaps it was the armor that was cold"
This part was something I'd been waiting for and I got it. It's like a light in the dark, a peaceful end of the war.
I have no objections, no question to your work. I'll look forward to your next works.
Have a good time!
Hello CapitalMonday here for a review. i like to begin that this poem could relate to people who have thought of people have been talking behind their backs or someone that you thought you have loved yet they stab you in the back. Also at the end of this poem, is sorta like a couplet (two lines that rhyme together) and how you repeat the ending of most of the chunks with Sometimes I wish my hard heart would fold which is like a chorus (I would assume).
Whenever I read a poem or short story, I try to find mistakes or needed changed to help the poet or writer, and sometimes my ideas provide helpful advice and the poet changed these in their poem. Yet from the review that i have read and the poem i have read, i can tell you changed what would needed to be changed (which is what a great poet would do and you are one!). Morrigan has it the key points I would have hit yet she seemed to bet me to them so such is life.
Anyway, I think this poem is well-written and people could relate as since when they love someone, the person they love might get mixed message from the rolling eyes or maybe just back chatting (i think this is what this poem is trying to say- maybe).
Farewell,
CapitalMonday
Hi there, RoyalHighness! Morrigan here for a review.
It seems to me like you were going for a villanelle, but this isn't quite a villanelle.
A villanelle has a different pattern than you have. While you have an AAB rhyme scheme, villanelles have an ABA rhyme scheme. Also, both of the repeated lines are in the first stanza. So if you were going for a villanelle, you should have written
Or something to that effect. But enough about form!
I quite liked the content, and I like that it goes somewhere, that the narrator has an epiphany at the end that the armor was the thing that was keeping them cold, and that love is good, and stuff. <3
This line's metaphor doesn't fit the rest of the poem. While the other imagery tackles war and heartbreak, this seems awfully teenagery to put into such a nice poem. I'd figure out something different, as this sounds rather immature and angsty.
Here's a tip: If you hold shift while you press enter, the lines will be single spaced. When you want to start a new stanza, just press enter without shift! That way you don't have to have those squigglies in there.
Overall, good job. I hope this review proves useful to you! Happy YWSing!
I was trying to do a different take on the villanelle, but thank you! Yeah, I changed that line; I wasn't sure how I liked it anyway. Thanks for the tips!