The thing is, I get it, the highlights
are neon, and flattened, and ancient.
Roman roads, run-over-runways, run-down,
I was a club secretary, I turned people into lists.
.
It's no joke, everything is -- a joke.
People are poison, we turn them into toner, we steamroll them.
.
The wars and, the crying and, the hearts and
the why-can't-yous. There's the people that call the monsters,
propaganda press, apathetic allies, cold concrete.
I was a club secretary, I know there's no stopping it.
.
People are poison, you and I, us both,
let's underline, let's boldface,
let's erase.
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Canary word: Present
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140,085 Literary Works • 672,996 Reviews
hey, liminality! Nicole here for a short review.
first impressions: this is a very interesting poem. I like how it's very fast-paced, and thought the way you worded it was really cool. I really like the title, it draws you write in
things to improve: there's not much to put here, the grammar and punctuation were good as far as I could tell.
in conclusion: I thought it was a really good poem!
hope this helps, sorry it was so short.
keep writing!
-nicole
Thanks for the review, Nicole! Ah I do get the sense that the pace moves quickly, now that you mention it. Did you think the line breaks make sense? Like how I divided up the poem into parts in general?
Yeah! I thought they worked out really well! I think it really does help it slow down a bit.
Ah glad to hear! Thanks so much for the feedback! <3
Of course! Glad i could help!
Hey Liminality, IMK here for a review!
I have to say, I didn't really understand much of this poem, but i wish it would, because i really love how it sounds.
--
My inference about the character is that they were the club secretary of the newspaper club, based on the last stanza
"People are poison, you and I, us both,
let's underline, let's boldface,
let's erase."
I dont think I can give much critique solely because I dont really get it, but I love your use of words like steamroll and your use of alliterations in
"There's the people that call the monsters,
propaganda press, apathetic allies, cold concrete."
--
That's all I can say, but I loved your poem!
-IMK
Thanks for the review! Yeah, I do get that the poem is a lot more obscure now than the previous version I wrote of it three years ago. Thanks for letting me know!
Hi @Liminality I'm here to do a review on your poem, so let's get strait on into it shell we.
I my gosh I so felt like you put all your soul into this poem wow. It's sad that this is true Lim. Its a lot to take in at once and here it is all on a paper for me. are you okay if you need to talk my PM box is always open okay. <33 I felt so drawn to this poem, and it just told me, no human is perfect no matter what they do. It's an amazing peace that you got here. Really putting life into perspective.
So that is all I can say, I hope to read more form you in the future, you've done a great job writing this. *Likes* I'll even give you a like.
I hope you have a great day/night witch ever side of the world your on.
@Dossereana Flying Over The Green Room And Spreading Shards Of Encouragement
Thanks for the review, @Dossereana! I have a question for you about something you mentioned, if you don't mind.
What exactly about the poem made you think "no human is perfect no matter what they do"? Since you quoted the whole piece, it's kinda hard to tell. I'm interested to know since themes are a big thing in poetry for me. Thanks!
Hi Liminality here is the line
It's like it spoke to me almost.Ah, I see. Thanks for letting me know, Dossereana!