Figure 1 shows the data from this study.
Comments:
a) The line hooks onto you, large bleak deep-sea fish, and demands that you feed the populace
b) Monsoon winds increase, as the winds in the mind increase
c) Considering the numbers here, there and nowhere, it may be concluded that I'm right and you are
wrong. (And if you can't see that, maybe you need more bioluminescence)
d) Consider graph A, and chart B, the numbers like staircases to the stormy skies, I tell you, they're evading the lies --
e) A fisherman reels in his line to shore :
you can't run from me anymore.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,259 Literary Works • 672,523 Reviews
What a great satire of scientific and school jargon! I really liked the nonsense feel of this poem, it contrasted perfectly with the correctness and objective feel of the format. So many work sheets and tests in schools these days could have just as little content while creating work for the person reading them. I like the way, when you read the lines closely, this poem could actually also be interpreted as a kind of allegory of a student in class. The first line “the line hooks onto you” characterizes the person’s dread at the beginning. Then the next line “monsoon winds increase as the winds of the mind increase” could be the pupil’s nervous racing mind when set the first question. Stanza C. I think, really shows up the attitude of a lot of teachers towards their students: I’m right and you’re wrong, and I’m not going to tell you why. Then in stanza D. the student pits up some resistance, letting their mind wander as in their mind’s eye they create an image and then a piece of poetry from that image, all based on this graph. Finally the last stanza: the first line i think, is the teacher (i.e the fisherman, as in the first line the student is the fish hooked on to) giving the final judgement - “reeling in his line”. ( it’s interesting how the student is portrayed as prey for the teacher). But the last line is spoken by the problem itself I think, by the data, which take on their own voice, seemingly talking to the student, trapping them even further, just as the teacher does.
Thanks for the review! The interpretation of the fisherman as a teacher was interesting for me to read. When I was writing this poem, I had it in mind that the fisherman would be the person who authored/ collected the data, but I guess that's the difference between school and college/university.
SO this might not be something that needs to be commented on but I like the notes that you took...
"here, there and nowhere"
And the way that you made different fonts gave me an image in my head and I really liked how it made me feel something.
"bioluminescence"
Holy cow what the heck is that word...like I have never seen it before so props to you and your vocabulary *claps*
"A fisherman reels in his line to shore :
you can't run from me anymore."
In your poem, you could literally use that beginning part too like shore Rymes with anymore and it could add to the plot...
anyway, great ideas!!
Thanks for the review!