1
unidentified
small lemony critter cuts
across the glass
window-- the golden sunshine
is thrown across the thick frame.
2
the warmth of sunlight
drifts between gnarly branches,
touching green curtains
which are made to sway by breeze
as the day slowly begins.
3
starting afternoon:
blooms red against the bushes,
words read in silence,
black ink on pages I leaf,
wishing for dawn's swift return.
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Canary word: Present
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140,094 Literary Works • 672,998 Reviews
These are absolutely lovely!! I don't think I've ever heard of tanka before, so thanks for this!
Your imagery is so peaceful and lovely, and I can vividly picture the scene. The descriptions are lovely, and the aspects of the scene you've chosen to highlight here really bring it all together. The shorter lines (I'm not sure if that's an aspect of tanka) help to create this gentle tone.
I have no critiques!! This was lovely
Thanks for the review! Tanka do indeed have a syllable pattern that creates a few short lines in between long ones. It's 5-7-5-7-7. I'm glad to hear the peaceful atmosphere and gentleness I was intending got through!
Hey There !!!
A lovely Poem with a spark of originality and expressiveness.
The imagery that the readers experience is truly breathtaking
Your imagination absolutely enhances your writing skills
Do try to frame a rhyming scheme next time as that would be as good as it gets
Looking Forward for more poems
Cheers!!!
Thanks for the review! Ooh a rhymed tanka would be interesting to try. I have not read many English examples of rhyming tanka, but tanka do often have rhymes in the original Japanese.