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Admission of the Whimsical

by Liminality


My bad, but I'm boring. I am grey castles,

grey hairs on the heads of kings

and red on the skulls of martyred knights.

I'm a princess who didn't hold the sword.

I'm a queen who sat pretty beheaded.

And you see, I told you you'd get bored.

.

I eat swiss rolls pink and puffy, by the book,

and let the ants charge them and die

on the way out, without doing something

to stop the carnage. Sorry, I'm just too conventional,

I take my tea in the same room as my fairy tale books,

it's almost special. It almost made you look.


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284 Reviews


Points: 1361
Reviews: 284

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Wed Nov 24, 2021 7:27 pm
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silented1 says...



This was awesome. This had so much blah to the world and life i lived but it did come back to life at the end with almost made you look. This is awesome too, but it opened the poem up to another space for story or experiene, try to keep to one kind of story.




Liminality says...


Thanks for sharing your thoughts!



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174 Reviews


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Tue Nov 23, 2021 8:22 pm
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WinnyWriter wrote a review...



Hey there! I enjoyed reading this poem. I like how you bring the reader's attention to one who claims to be boring. Starting out by saying, "I'm boring" has an unexpected way of being intriguing, sort of like telling someone, "Don't look." It's the type of introduction they'd normally advise speakers against, but can also be used as a tasteful opening, in writing, anyway.

I like how this is clearly formatted and easy to read. I didn't notice any spelling errors, so great work with that. The two distinct stanzas also make it convenient for reading.

I appreciate how you have brought into focus something very ordinary and made it poetic. The whole concept there is inspiring. Thanks for sharing your work!




Liminality says...


Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D



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95 Reviews


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Tue Nov 23, 2021 5:22 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...



Lovely poem! I think this is about a common type of side character we may read about in fairytales and how they are overlooked.Maybe,it’s them sharing their feelings.Maybe this person wants to be heard and has a story to tell,but no one will listen to the person,because they’re “too boring.” Like the review before,the last line of the poem was my favorite.I hope you have a good day/night.




Liminality says...


Thanks for the review! :D



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20 Reviews


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Tue Nov 23, 2021 4:47 pm
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Mooilky wrote a review...



Hello, I am leaving a review.

Firstly, I was not aware there were pink swiss rolls! I had to look it up haha.

Secondly, I think my favorite line is the last one.

"I take my tea in the same room as my fairy tale books,

it's almost special. It almost made you look."

I did sort of feel like I was reading this poem out of the corner of my eye.
It's interesting that you compare not stopping carnage with being "too conventional".

The title is well suited to this poem.

I do wonder how the poem would read if the pacing/formatting was arranged differently?
I noticed that the colors mentioned are grey, red, and pink. It might be interesting to bring focus to the colors of things to create more of a through line.

This was and interesting read. Thank you for sharing your art!
Best Wishes <3




Liminality says...


Thanks for the review! That's a good idea about the colours - I might try that. :D




it's ok, death by laughter was always how i've wanted to go out
— Carina